mikeusa

amia miley

Yo momma is so ugly Fix-It Felix said, "I can't fix it." Yo momma is so fat when she stepped on the scale it read, "Get the hell off me!" Yo momma is so ugly she turned Medusa into stone. Yo momma is so stupid that she sat on the TV to watch the couch.

Yo momma's so fat, she got baptized at Sea World. Yo momma is so stupid that when thieves broke in and stole the tv, she ran outside and yelled to them,"Hey, you forgot the remote!" Yo mama so fat I tried driving around her and I ran out of gas. Yo momma's so fat, she has more rolls than a bakery.

Yo momma is so stupid when your dad sad it was chilly outside, she ran out the door with a spoon! Yo mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team. Yo momma is so fat she sat on the rainbow and Skittles came out. Yo mamma is so ugly, she scared the shit out of the toilet.

Yo mama so ugly when she went into a haunted house she came out with a job application. Yo momma is so ugly even Hello Kitty said, "Goodbye" to her Yo mamma is so fat she walked past the TV and I missed 3 episodes. Yo momma so fat when she steps out in a yellow raincoat, the people yell, "TAXI!

Yo mamma is so ugly when she took a bath the water jumped out. Yo momma is so fat that when she saw a yellow school bus go by full of white kids she ran after it yelling, "TWINKIE!" Yo momma's so fat, that when she went to the zoo, the hippos got jealous Your momma's so ugly, when she goes into a strip club, they pay her to keep her clothes on.

I'm in trouble with my next door neighbors. I went over to their house recently to jump on there tramperleen. I had just got on when I heard a voice say, "Hey you, get off my daughter Erleen!"

A boy was going through his grandmother's wallet one night and found her ID card. "Grandma?" he asked,"How much do you weigh?" His grandmother replied, "That's not an appropriate question, Jimmy" He then asked, "How old are you?" She again replied, "That's not appropriate, Jimmy." Finally he asked, "Grandma, why did grandpa leave you?" Before she had time to answer, Jimmy looked at the card and said, "Oh I see, it's because you got an 'F' in sex.

A man comes home early from work and shouts, "Honey, I'm home!" No reply. So he goes upstairs and calls from the landing, "Honey, I am home," but still no reply. Frustrated, he goes into the bedroom and finds his wife on the bed, stark naked. "Oh Norman, I didn't expect you this early," she says, holding her chest and breathing heavily. He thinks she is having an heart attack and runs downstairs to ring for an ambulance. He starts dialing the emergency number when his young daughter starts pulling at his jacket. "Dad," she says. "Dad," she says again. "What is it? I'm busy," he says. "Uncle Jack is in the wardrobe with no clothes on," she tells him. He drops the phone and runs back to the bedroom. "You bastard, you f**king bastard," he shouts angrily at Norman. "You bastard! My wife is having a heart attack and you are going around scaring the kids!"

There was a young rabbi, who on Sabbath Eve announces to the congregation that he will be leaving for a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a silence. No one wants him to leave. Cohen, who owns several car dealerships, stands up and announces, "If the rabbi stays, I'll provide him with a new BMW every year, and his lovely wife with a Range Rover, to transport their children!" The congregation sighs and applauds. Feinstein, the entrepreneur and investor stands up and says, "If the rabbi stays, I'll double his salary, and establish a college fund to guarantee the college education of his children!" More sighs and applause. Old Mrs. Horowitz, aged 96, stands and announces, "If the rabbi stays, I will have sex with him!" There is a silence. The rabbi, blushing, asks, "Mrs. Horowitz, whatever possessed you to say that?" Mrs. Horowitz answers, "I just asked Mr. Horowitz what we could do to make the rabbi stay. Mr. Horowitz said,"F*ck the rabbi."

There once was a man named Sweeney. He spilled some gin on his weenie. That being uncouth, He dipped it in vermouth, And slipped his wife a dry martini.

A penguin takes his car to the shop, and the mechanic says he needs an hour to check it out. So the penguin goes across the street to the 7-Eleven to kill some time and get an ice cream. Since the penguin has no hands, the poor little guy gets the ice cream all over his beak. He returns to the mechanic and the guy tells him, "Looks like you blew a seal." "Oh no," says the penguin, "this is just a little ice cream."