Just re-read what you posted dude, hardly an auspicious start yourself. Enjoy your canine coprophilic musings, it's a broad church here. Lol.
You forgot the bit about admiring the soft furnishings and wondering what peasant food they will be eating during the day. Those little things mean as much to some of us who aren't lonely old men hunched over a crusty laptop splashing their weak, broken necked sperm over their skanky dressing gowns from morning through to night. Enjoy the forum however it pleases you Kelvin.