Danny

turned the last photo into a trailer

Rolo 

We have quite a few sex gods it seems and can do a better job. Funny that you spend most of your time in here complaining and slagging tenants off, surprised you have time for it. 
Perfect I think not. 

Another one with shit for brains. LOL

Two girls and a boy are playing doctors and nurses behind the shed one day. The little boy suddenly drops his pants and shows them his penis. One girl screams and runs away, the other rolls her eyes and proudly scoffs, "Pfft, that's nothing. My daddy's got two of those." "What?!" says the boy, "Two?!" "Yeah two," replies the girl, "One for going pee pee and another for cleaning the nanny's teeth."

A hippie backpacker from the Swiss Alps was tramping across a farmers field when it got dark. He asked the farmer if he could spend the night. The farmer agreed but said he would have to sleep in bed with his 18 year old daughter. The farmer told him, "If I catch you molesting my daughter I'll shoot you!" That night the hippie and the farmers daughter got it on and had a great time. The farmer could hear the goings on from the next room. In the morning he opened the door and asked the hippie, "Did you have sex with my daughter?" The hippie was a Jesus freak so he decided to be honest: "Yes, I did. Please forgive me." The farmer took the hippie out back of the house and pointed a shotgun at him. "Ya got any last words, bub?" he asked. The Swiss hippie said, "Yodelayheehoo!" Then the farmer shot him. When the Sheriff arrived, he asked the farmer why he shot the man just for having sex with his daughter. The farmer replied, "Well, I didn't really have a problem with him screwing Bonnie. I was just gonna scare him a little, but when he said, 'Yer 'ol lady too!' that's when I blew his head off."

Galaxy caramel

An atheist was rowing on Loch Ness in Scotland one day, when suddenly the Loch Ness Monster attacked and grabbed him from his boat.
He panicked and shouted " God help me!", and suddenly, the monster and everything around him just froze.
A voice from the heavens boomed, " You say you don't believe in me, but now you are asking for my help?"
The atheist looked up and said, " Well, ten seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either."

Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't. The guilt was overwhelming.
But every once in a while he would hear internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: " Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let it go Dave."
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: " Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"

A guy is late to meet with his friends at the local bar, the friends ask why he is late and he responds:
" Wow, you won't believe what just happened. So I take the usual route via the rail tracks and I suddenly see a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks."
The friends are curious and ask, " Well, what happened next?"
The guy says, " Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks, " Soo.... did you get any head? "
The guy says, " No, I couldn't find it...."

A man and his ever nagging wife were on a holiday in Jerusalem, when the wife suddenly died. The funeral company told the man that it would cost $4500 to ship her home or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem.
The husband said, "Ship her home." Shocked, the undertaker asked, "But sir, why don't you bury her in the Holy Land and save the money?"
The husband replied, "A long time ago, a man was buried here and 3 days later, he rose from the dead.... I can't take the chance!"

While proudly showing of his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong. " What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked.
" Why, that's the talking clock" the man replied.
" How does it work?"
" Watch", the man said, giving it an ear - shattering pound with a hammer.
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed, " For fuck sake, you wanker, it's 2am in the fucking morning!!"

We have quite a few sex gods it seems and can do a better job. Funny that you spend most of your time in here complaining and slagging tenants off, surprised you have time for it. 
Perfect I think not.