Scotsman84 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 A Sunday school teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. Little Johnny replied: " They couldn't get a baby sitter. " Chucky, Alexander1951 and Max 2017 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Computer games don't affect kids. If Pacman would have affected us as children, we would now run around in darkened rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive music. Max 2017 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 A woman was cleaning her husbands dresser drawers when she found 3 golf balls and a box with £2000 in it. She waited for him to come home from the golf course to ask him why these things were hidden in his dresser drawer. The husband said " I'm sorry I hid this from you but the truth is every time I cheated on you over the past 30 years I put a golf ball in the drawer." The wife was very upset at first but after thinking about it said " I guess 3 times in 30 years is really not that bad! Oh by the way what is the £2000 in the drawer. The husband replied " Well every time I got to a dozen balls I sold them. Alexander1951, Chucky and Max 2017 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 A husband says to wife: " My Olympic condoms have arrived. Think I will wear gold tonight. " The wife says: " Why don't you wear silver and cum fucking second for a change? " Max 2017, Chucky and Alexander1951 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 The teacher asked Little Johnny to use the word " definitely " in a sentence. Little Johnny replies: " Teacher, do farts have lumps in them? " The Teacher says: " Of course not Johnny. " To which Johnny replies: " Then I have definitely Shit my pants. " Chucky and Max 2017 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 Lia and Mia.. Create an account to see this content! Max 2017 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 A bear walks into a bar and says, " I'd like a beer............ and some peanuts. " The bartender says, " Sure, but why the big paws? " Max 2017 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Q: How do you take a Sick Pig to hospital? A: In an Hambulance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 31, 2017 Share Posted January 31, 2017 Q: Why should you never tell a Pig a Secret? A: Because they like to Squeal! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 Two hookers were on a street corner. They started discussing business and one of the hookers said, " Yep, it's going to be a good night, I smell cock in the air." The other hooker looked at her and said, " No, no. I just burped. " Chucky, Alexander1951 and Max 2017 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 Teacher: Why is there a Cat in here? Kid: Because I heard my Daddy say to my Mummy, I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids are at school, so I'm saving him. Max 2017, CowArt, Chucky and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted February 1, 2017 Share Posted February 1, 2017 During sex, I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She was like, " What are you doing? " And I said, " Hush ", I saw this on PornHub, it's called Buffering: " Max 2017 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Teacher: Can anyone name three Kings that brought happiness and peace to the earth? Student: Drin-King, Smo-King, and Fuc-King! Max 2017 and Chucky 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Was Barry White? Was Clint Black? Was George Straight? Was Marvin Gay? Sure made Stevie Wonder.... Alexander1951 and Chucky 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted February 2, 2017 Share Posted February 2, 2017 Anna and her boyfriend walk into Annas house and Anna said to her mom, " Mom, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room " and her mom say, " Ok honey, you kids have fun. " When they are up their the mom hears. " Baby baby baby oh! " The mom walks to the door and asks, " What the hell is going on?" Anna says, " Mom were just having sex. " and her mom says, " Oh thank god I thought you guys were listening to Justin Bieber. " Alexander1951, Chucky and Max 2017 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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