A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book. The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was confused and asked "What the hell are doing, taking all your jammies off?" The wife replied "You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for something a bit heavier". The husband said "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.

The officer shouted orders to a nearby soldier. With considerable bravery, the GI ran directly onto the field of battle, in the line of fire, to retrieve a dispatch case from a dead soldier. In a hail of bullets, he dove back to safety. "Private" the officer said "I'm recommending you for a medal. You risked your life to save the locations of our secret warehouses". "Warehouses!?" the private shouted. "I thought you said whorehouses!"

HOW TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT WITH WOMEN IN THE MODERN WORLD

 

She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE she is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT

She is not a BAD COOK she is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE

She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY she is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED

She is not CONCEITED she is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES

She does not GAIN WEIGHT she is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER

She does not TEASE or FLIRT she engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION

She is not DUMB she is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY

She is not TOO SKINNY she is SKELETALLY PROMINENT

She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE she is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE

She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS she is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT

She has not BEEN AROUND she is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME she commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE

She does not GO SHOPPING she is MALL FLUENT

She is not an AIR HEAD she is REALITY IMPAIRED

She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY she gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED

She does not get FAT or CHUBBY she achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY

She is not COLD or FRIGID she is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE

She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP she has reached COSMETIC SATURATION

She does not NAG YOU she becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE

She does not want to be MARRIED she wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION

LOL.

Yeah looks lovely.. lol