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need a laugh when rlc is dead #1


skippy

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Paddy and Murphy are on a desert island, been there for almost 2 weeks. Not a scrap of food around, and both are near death from the hunger. So, after much exploration, they find a cave with a big locked door and a thick glass window. Through the window they see years' worth of food and supplies waiting for them. Unfortunately they cannot open the door, which makes them break down in despair.

At that point, a smelly witch appears from nowhere with a loud pop.

"Well isn't this nice" says the witch. "I've got men begging at my door... and I'm as horny as a mule".

Paddy and Murphy took one look at the witch and both shuddered.

The witch continued "If you of you two fine looking men will take the pleasure of 'doing me' I will unlock this door and you can eat to your hearts content".

The guys look at each other, and decide that it's better than starving to death. Both are not okay with being the man who will fuck her however, as her smell is vile in an extremely messed up kind of way. After drawing the short straw, Murphy has got the task of doing her.

The witch, with a wicked glint in her squinty eye, leads him away from the door around a large bush.
The witch turns away, giggles "Oh you better be good!" and leans forward. As she does this, she drops her stinking knickers, which are covered with a strange yellow lumpy goo, which is dripping from her unwashed nether regions. Murphy reels backwards, and thinks that there is no way on God's Green Earth that his cock was placed on this island to enter that crawling acid pit of a minge.

'Hang about' thinks Murphy 'she's facing away from me, what if I use something else?' He spies a small branch from the nearby bush, and quietly snaps it off. He then carefully pushes it up, deep into her cavernous vagina. The witch immediately starts moaning.

After 2 minutes of this, the witch totally oblivious that she's being frigged by a stick, is loving it and goes to get up. Quickly, Murphy pulls the stick out, which is absolutely covered in thick lumpy yellow puss, and chucks it over the bush.

"Ohh that was nice" says the witch "but I wanted it better. You've gotta go harder than that if you want that food!" With that, the witch bends back over. Murphy goes back to the bush, and snaps off a thicker branch, then quickly rams it up her stanky box.

After 3 minutes of ramming it up her yellow puss-pipe and her moaning in pleasure, she goes to get back up again. Murphy, as quick as ever, pulls the branch out, covered in yellow puss lumps, and chucks it over the bush. The witch stands up, albeit shakily and says "That was almost there, but I'm after that bit of ommmph before you eat". She again leans forward expectantly.

'Right. Fuck this' thinks Murphy and pulls out the biggest branch from the bush, 4 inch diameter, and charges it up her infested yellow hole. After 4 minutes of ramming, and the witch singing in ecstasy, she collapses on the floor in a heap. He pulls the branch out, which is dripping disgustingly, and throws it over the bush. The witch gets up rather dizzily, and drops a key in his hand. "Cheers pet" and with that, she was gone.

Murphy runs around to the locked door, where Paddy is sitting.

"Paddy, Paddy, I got the key, we can eat, we're saved!" "Fuck the food locker" says Paddy "I want more of that corn on the cob that you've been throwing over".

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