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Posted

My friend surprised me with a book called Roadkill Recipes. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I'm just not sure what to do with the bicycle. 

Posted

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit. 

Posted

A mom calls out to her son, "Harry! Wake up! You'll be late for school."

The son replies, "Mom, I don't want to go to school!

The teachers and students hate me! Give me one reason I should go!"

The mom shouts back, "You should go because you're the principal!!"

Posted

Husband: Knocks the door at midnight.

Wife: Go back to where you came from!

Husband: Open the door or I will throw myself in the pool!

Wife: Go ahead and kill yourself, do you think I care?

So the husband stands near the dark part of the gate and waits for 2 minutes, takes a big stone and throws it in the pool.

!!!!..Scheweew..!!!!

Wife hears and opens the door and runs towards the swimming pool. The husband quickly sneaks into the house and locks the door.

Wife: Open the door or I will shout!!

Husband: Shout till all the neighbours wake up and come over here. Tell them where you are coming from by this time of the night with only panties and a bra!

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