King Hamlet

Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father.
"Nope," comes dads reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."

Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father.
"Nope," comes dads reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."

Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father.
"Nope," comes dads reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."

Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
Yo momma so stupid, when told she had lost her mind, she went looking for it.
Yo momma so fat the only letters she knows in the alphabet are K.F.C!
Yo momma so ugly, the army doesn't use guns any more - they use her picture.
Yo momma so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
Yo momma is so fat if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.

Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father.
"Nope," comes dads reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."

Two friends dies. One goes to Heaven and the other goes to Hell. The one that goes to Heaven begs the angel to let him visit his friend in Hell, and the angel agrees. He gets to Hell and sees his friend surrounded by beautiful women and alcohol everywhere. He says to his friend, " Wow, you were a son of a bitch when we were alive! Hell looks better than Heaven." So the friend in Hell says, " Pour yourself a glass of wine." The Heavenly friend pours the wine, and notices that the glass has no bottom. The good friend looks at the bad one in confusion, and the bad friend says, " The glass has no bottom, and neither do the girls. Welcome to Hell."

A police officer sees a blonde woman driving and knitting at the same time. Exasperated, he drives up next to her and shouts out the window, " Pull Over! " The blonde responds, " No Silly, it's a scarf."
 
A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, " Six Brazilian men die in skydiving accident." The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, " That's horrible!" Confused, he replies " Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving and there is always that risk involved." After a few minutes, still sobbing, she says, " How many is a Brazilian? "
 
 

An old lady rushed into a police station and claimed she had been raped. When asked what the guy looked like, she said she didn't know, only that it was a contractor. When asked how she knew that, she yelled, " All he could say was, " I'm coming! I'm coming!' and he never finished the job."

Standing beside a valiant stallion, a beautiful blonde decides she must ride this animal despite having no previous riding experience. Soon, she finds herself atop the horses back, galloping through a lush green meadow. Unsuspecting, the horse suddenly picks up speed and she finds herself euphoric over the freedom she is experiencing
Once again, the magnificent animal picks up speed except this time her inexperience gets the better of her. She finds herself barely able to hang on. The startled horse is now in a dead run and the beautiful blonde finds herself hanging off to one side of the horse, head just inches from the ground.... catastrophe seconds away.
She begins to frantically scream for help when all of a sudden....
Frank, the Wal-Mart security man, calmly walks up and unplugs the ride.

Two good things in life

i name this the scotsman84 trailer
as it was he that found the pictures
 
 

LOL.