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Scotsman84

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Everything posted by Scotsman84

  1. An old lady rushed into a police station and claimed she had been raped. When asked what the guy looked like, she said she didn't know, only that it was a contractor. When asked how she knew that, she yelled, " All he could say was, " I'm coming! I'm coming!' and he never finished the job."
  2. A knight was getting ready for the crusade. He turned to his friend and told him: " My fiancée is the most beautiful girl in the world and I can't imagine her being with someone else, while I'm gone. You're my best friend and I trust you. Here's the key for her chastity belt. In case I never get back, unlock her and set her free." When the crusade knights were a mile away from the village, the knight gets an urgent message: " Mate, You Gave Me The Wrong Key! "
  3. Standing beside a valiant stallion, a beautiful blonde decides she must ride this animal despite having no previous riding experience. Soon, she finds herself atop the horses back, galloping through a lush green meadow. Unsuspecting, the horse suddenly picks up speed and she finds herself euphoric over the freedom she is experiencing Once again, the magnificent animal picks up speed except this time her inexperience gets the better of her. She finds herself barely able to hang on. The startled horse is now in a dead run and the beautiful blonde finds herself hanging off to one side of the horse, head just inches from the ground.... catastrophe seconds away. She begins to frantically scream for help when all of a sudden.... Frank, the Wal-Mart security man, calmly walks up and unplugs the ride.
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