Scotsman84

DIY. LOL

Hugh Dennis.

Cheat and win or Play fair and lose?

In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone: " Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin." Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men what the lady had said. The men went to carve it in, but the lazy no-goods they were, they thought the inscription to be to long, They simply wrote: " Returned Unopened."

A blonde goes into a computer store and asks the clerk, " Where do you keep the curtains for computers? " The clerk answers with a puzzled face, " Curtains for computers? You don't need curtains for computers." The blondes eyes widen and she shakes her head as she answers, "Hello!?? My computer has Windows!!"

A blonde and a brunette are watching a TV show. The brunette bets the blonde $10 that the man in the episode would jump off a bridge. The man jumps off the bridge and the blonde pays the brunette $10. The brunette feels guilty because she has already seen the episode, so she confesses to the blonde. The blonde says, " I've seen it too, but I didn't think he would jump again."