box_hunter

I was in the pub a few months ago when these 4 huge bastards started mouthing off. "Pretend we're the police" my mate said. I only got half way through the first verse of Roxanne before they kicked the shit out of us!

There was a cat by the lake and a sausage came floating by the cat put its paw in and wet its paw. Then a few minutes later a bigger sausage came floating by and the cat fell in. The moral of this story the bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy.

I was in the pub a few months ago when these 4 huge bastards started mouthing off. "Pretend we're the police" my mate said. I only got half way through the first verse of Roxanne before they kicked the shit out of us!

There was a cat by the lake and a sausage came floating by the cat put its paw in and wet its paw. Then a few minutes later a bigger sausage came floating by and the cat fell in. The moral of this story the bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy.

I was in the pub a few months ago when these 4 huge bastards started mouthing off. "Pretend we're the police" my mate said. I only got half way through the first verse of Roxanne before they kicked the shit out of us!

There was a cat by the lake and a sausage came floating by the cat put its paw in and wet its paw. Then a few minutes later a bigger sausage came floating by and the cat fell in. The moral of this story the bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy.

I was in the pub a few months ago when these 4 huge bastards started mouthing off. "Pretend we're the police" my mate said. I only got half way through the first verse of Roxanne before they kicked the shit out of us!

The guy next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said "She's beautiful, isn't she?" I said "If you think SHE'S beautiful, you should see MY girlfriend mate". He said "Why? Is she a stunner?" I said "No, she's an optician".

Gus was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor.
He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem.
In response, the doctor said "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself".
That same day Gus went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to Becky.
At home, he found Becky was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the celebrated 69 position.
Gus, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.
The next day, Gus went back to the doctor.
The doctor asked "How did it go?" "Well, not as I'd expected. When I fired the pistol, Becky shit on my face, bit three inches off my dick, and my neighbour came out of the closet with his hands in the air".

One day a young woman had just started playing her round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain.
Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked "Why are you back in so early? What's wrong?"
"I was stung by a bee" she said. "Where?'" he asked.
"Between the first and second hole" she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said "Then your feet were too far apart".

The guy next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said "She's beautiful, isn't she?" I said "If you think SHE'S beautiful, you should see MY girlfriend mate". He said "Why? Is she a stunner?" I said "No, she's an optician".

The guy next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said "She's beautiful, isn't she?" I said "If you think SHE'S beautiful, you should see MY girlfriend mate". He said "Why? Is she a stunner?" I said "No, she's an optician".

Yep that looks very safe!!

The guy next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said "She's beautiful, isn't she?" I said "If you think SHE'S beautiful, you should see MY girlfriend mate". He said "Why? Is she a stunner?" I said "No, she's an optician".

The guy next to me on the train pulled out a photo of his wife and said "She's beautiful, isn't she?" I said "If you think SHE'S beautiful, you should see MY girlfriend mate". He said "Why? Is she a stunner?" I said "No, she's an optician".

A new Army Lieutenant, let's call him Jim Browning, was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Iraqi Desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asked Sgt Huntington why the camel was kept there.
The nervous sergeant said "Sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women".
"Sometimes the men have urges. That's why we have Milly the Camel". The Lieutenant said "I can't say that I condone this, but I can understand about the "urges" so the camel can stay".
About a month later, the young Lieutenant Browning starts having his own urges. Crazed with passion, he asked the Sgt Huntington to bring the camel to his tent.
Putting a ladder behind the camel, Browning stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild and insane sex with the camel.
When he's done, he asked the Sgt Huntington "Is that how the men do it?" "No sir. They usually just ride the camel into town... that's where the girls are..."

Gus was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor.
He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem.
In response, the doctor said "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself".
That same day Gus went to the store and bought himself a starter pistol. All excited to try this suggestion, he ran home to Becky.
At home, he found Becky was in bed, naked and waiting. As the two began, they found themselves in the celebrated 69 position.
Gus, moments later, felt the sudden urge to ejaculate and fired the starter pistol.
The next day, Gus went back to the doctor.
The doctor asked "How did it go?" "Well, not as I'd expected. When I fired the pistol, Becky shit on my face, bit three inches off my dick, and my neighbour came out of the closet with his hands in the air".