LOL

Little Johnny... The Mouse

Little Johnny walks into his dad's bedroom and sees him sliding on a condom. His father tries to hide it by bending over, as if to look under the bed.

Little Johnny asks curiously, "What are you doing, Dad?"

His father quickly replies, "I thought I saw a mouse go underneath the bed."

Little Johnny replies, "What are you gonna do -- screw him?"

Angelic Love

A man tells his friend, "My wife is an angel."

His friend replies, "Lucky you. Mine's still alive."

Do Something You Enjoy

Somebody told me the best way to meet women is to do something you enjoy -- right away, you have something in common. So, I've spent the past year smoking dope and watching television.

 

Edited November 27, 20178 yr by mikeusa
miss up

 

Support Inter-Racial Dating

It's America, not a load of laundry -- no need to separate the white and the colors.

Edited November 27, 20178 yr by mikeusa
miss spill

Couple Blowout

While we were eating, there was a couple on the other side of the restaurant having a fight. It was a huge fight; it was a blowout. They were screaming at each other. When the woman finally got up and stormed out, I noticed that the man didn't go after her, so I did.

Telltale Stripper Signs

How is she not going to know? I'm going to roll in at five o'clock in the morning, smelling like exotic plants, no money in my pockets, glitter all over me. The second I walk through the door, she's going to go, 'You went to a strip club.' What the hell am I going to say? 'No, no, no, I was out tracking unicorns.'

 100% True. LOL