need a laugh when rlc is dead #1

[Scotsman84]

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[Scotsman84]

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[Scotsman84]

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[Scotsman84]

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[Scotsman84]

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[Scotsman84]

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[Scotsman84]

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[Scotsman84]

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[Scotsman84]

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[box_hunter]

As I was getting in bed, she said "You're drunk". I said "How do you know?" She said "You live next door".

[box_hunter]

A guy stops by to visit his friend. They talk for a while and then the friend asks "My feet are cold. Would you be so kind as to go get me my sneakers please?" The guest obliges and goes upstairs. There he sees his friend's daughters, both very good looking. Being the adventurous and quick thinking kind, he says: "Hi, ladies! Your daddy sent me here to have sex with you!" They stare at him and say "That can't be!" He replies "OK, let's check!" He shouts at his friend down the stairs "Both of them?" "Yes, both of them!"

[box_hunter]

A professor is lecturing a class and says "Today's lecture will be about glucose. Glucose is sugar and can be found in lots of stuff. For example, semen, candy, etc". A blonde girl responds with "How come you can't taste sugar in semen?" The professor says "Well, sweety, that's because you don't have taste buds in the back of your throat".

[box_hunter]

The owner of a golf course on the Gold Coast was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said "You graduated from the University of Queensland and I need some help. If I was to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" The secretary thought a moment, and then replied "Everything but my earrings".

[box_hunter]

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?" "Reading a book" she replies, (thinking "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area" he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading". "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up".

"For reading a book?" she replies. "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area" he informs her again, "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading" "Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up".

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault" says the woman. "But I haven't even touched you" says the game warden. "That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment". "Have a nice day ma'am" and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

[box_hunter]

There is a medical conference at the local hospital and many doctors are invited.

During the conference a man spots a super sexy and fit female doctor. After the conference he goes up to her and "Asks do you want to go out for a drink?" "Yes please" she said.

Before they settle down for the drink the woman says "I must wash my Hands". So she goes and washes her hands and she comes back and they drink their drinks.

Next they go for a meal. Before they eat the woman says "I must go and wash my hands". So she washes her hands and she comes back and they have their meal.

When they return home they realise they are really turned on by each other and they give in to their throbbing urges and decide to have sex. But before they have sex the women says again "I must go and wash my hands". So she goes and washes her hands and she comes back and they have sex.

After they have had sex the man says to the woman "You are a surgeon, aren't you". "Yes" she replies "how do you know that". "Well" he says "you are always going and washing your hands". Then the women says to the man "you are an anaesthetist aren't you". "Yes" he says "how do you know that?" "Well" she says "because I did not feel a prick!"