Wazzer Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Q: What's the difference between David Beckham and Posh? A: Posh doesn't kick back when she's taken from behind. Q: How did George Michael find out he was dyslexic? A: He misread the sign "Have a walk in our park". Q: What happened when Tiger Woods signed his scorecard with a 69? A: The PGA asked if it was on the golf course or in the bedroom! Q: Why have there been less suicide bombings since Susan Boyle's rise to fame? A: Because terrorists didn't know what a virgin looked like! Scotsman84, Scorpio 22, Sketch and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Create an account to see this content! Dragnet, Wazzer, Scorpio 22 and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Create an account to see this content! Robwin, Scorpio 22, Sketch and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Create an account to see this content! Dragnet, Scorpio 22, Wazzer and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Create an account to see this content! RUBBERMAN, Wazzer and Scorpio 22 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wazzer Posted February 24, 2019 Share Posted February 24, 2019 A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. "If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her. The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings." Scotsman84, Scorpio 22, Sketch and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wazzer Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 It's a really hot day and this penguin is having car trouble, so he takes it into a garage. The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" Mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream from the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets there he climbs inside the big freezer door and starts to eat ice cream. Three hours go by before the penguin looks at his watch and jumps out of the freezer and races back to the garage. With ice cream all over his face and stomach asks the mechanic, "So, how's my car?" The mechanic comes out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says, "No, no, no, I was just eating ice cream." Sketch, Scotsman84 and Johnny 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
box_hunter Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 A girlfriend and boyfriend walked into the girlfriend's house and the girlfriend said to her mum "Mum, me and my boyfriend are going up to my room" and the mum says "Okay honey, you kids have fun". When they are in the room, the mum hears "Baby baby baby oh!" The mum walks to the door and ask "What the hell is going on?" The girl says "Mum were just having sex". And the mum says "Oh thank god I thought you guys were listening to Justin Bieber". Scotsman84, delta10 and Scorpio 22 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
box_hunter Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 I came out of the chip shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips, mushy peas and a crumbed sausage. A poor homeless man sitting there said "I've not eaten for two days". I told him "I wish I had your will power!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
box_hunter Posted February 25, 2019 Share Posted February 25, 2019 An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks him "What's wrong?" The boy says "Me ma is dead". "Oh bejaysus" the man says. "Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?" The boy replies "No tanks mister. Sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment". Scotsman84, Johnny, Scorpio 22 and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
box_hunter Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 Create an account to see this content! Scorpio 22, Scotsman84 and Johnny 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
box_hunter Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 Create an account to see this content! RUBBERMAN and Scotsman84 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
box_hunter Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 I have 1 question!! WHY??? Create an account to see this content! RUBBERMAN, Johnny, Scotsman84 and 2 others 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted February 26, 2019 Share Posted February 26, 2019 5 hours ago, box_hunter said: I have 1 question!! WHY??? Create an account to see this content! Dragnet, Johnny, delta10 and 2 others 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted February 27, 2019 Share Posted February 27, 2019 Create an account to see this content! Scorpio 22 and Johnny 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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