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need a laugh when rlc is dead #2


Pleasant

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A man farts in bed next to his wife.

"What in the world was that?" His wife asks.

He replies, "Touchdown. I'm winning, seven nothing."

She decides to get even, so she lets one loose.

He yells at her, "What was that?"

She replies, "Touchdown, tie score."

He wants to get her back, but tries to hard and shits the bed.

The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?"

He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."

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Q: What's the difference between driving in the fog and eating pussy?

A: At least when you are eating pussy you can see the asshole in front of you.

 

Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained that she needed to get a liquor license?

"Oh, it's not going to be that kinda bar. That's disgusting!"

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*Three little boys were sitting talking about their fathers.

The first boy says, "My dad can blow smoke rings."

The second boy says, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose."

The third boy says, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt."

The other boys were amazed. The second boy asks, "Have you seen him do it?"

"No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."

 

*An old woman goes to the doctors.

The doctor gives her a checkup and says, "I need to do stool, blood and urine tests."

The woman says, "Well can I just leave my underwear? Bingo starts in half an hour."

 

*I've accepted every email offer I've ever received.

My penis is now 235 feet long.

 

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