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Blonde Jokes


Vaz
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Tired of constant blonde Jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She then decided to go for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road. "Hey, shepherd, if I can guess how many sheep are here, can I have one?" The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!". He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick one. "I'll take this one", she says proudly. "It's the cutest!". "Hey lady," says the shepherd, "If I can guess your real hair colour, can I have my dog back?".

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There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish ice fishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win.... They kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back. "A hole! You need to put a hole in the ice!" 

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde.

After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore. They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink. After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!" 

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A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car.

The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat.

"No!", yells the blonde.

Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.

"For the last time, no!", says the blonde.

Frustrated, the guy asks, "Well, why the hell not?"

The blonde says, "Because I wanna stay up here with you!" 

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Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat. The driver turned to her friend and said, "You know, it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!". To this, the other blonde replies, "I know, and if I could swim, I'd go out there and drown her." 

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A guy goes into a house of prostitution.

He selects a girl, pays her $200 up front, then gets undressed.

She's about to take off her sheer blue negligee, when the fire alarm rings!

She runs out the room, with his $200 still in her hand.

He quickly grabs his clothes and runs out after her.

He's searching the building, but the smoke gets too heavy, so goes outside looking for her.

By this time the fire brigade are there.

He sees a fireman and asks, "Did you see a beautiful blonde, in a sheer blue negligee, with $200 in her hand?"

The fireman says, "No!"

The guy replies, "Well if you see her, screw her. It's paid for. 

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