mikeusa

Weird Being Single I'm single now. And it's really weird for me to be dating again because, for the last three years, I've just been cheating.

Adding Blonde Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key

Little Johnny... Definite Definition The preschool teacher says, "We're going to do vocabulary today. Who can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?" Mary raises her hand and exclaims, "Me me me!" The teacher says, "Go ahead, what's the sentence? Mary replies, "The sky is definitely blue." "That's good, Mary," says the teacher, "but the sky can also be gray or white." Sam raises his hand and states, "Grass is definitely green." The teacher says, "That's good, Sam, but grass can be brown, too." Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, "Do farts have lumps in them?" The teacher says, "No Johnny, why do you ask that?" Little Johnny replies, "Well, I definitely shit my pants."

she still a lovely redhead don't care if she boring

Nothing But Dial You've been married to the women for 20 years. She don't use nothing but Dial soap. Her mama uses Dial soap. All seven of her sisters use Dial soap in their seven respective homes. You can go through purse, pocketbook, and find Dial coupons any given time of the day or night. Damn you if you come home smelling like Zest!

Fondest Childhood Memory My fondest childhood memory is I made out with my babysitter, Cathy. She stops in the middle of everything: 'We have to stop this. I feel like such a whore.' 'Why? I'm not paying you -- my parents are! Come here!'

Little Johnny... Big Word The teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multisyllabic words, class. Does anyone have an example of a multisyllabic word?" Little Johnny waves his hand, "Me, teacher! Oh, me, me!" The teacher smiles and says, "Alright, Johnny, what is your multisyllabic word?" Little Johnny says, "Mas-tur-bate." The teacher is taken aback, but she manages to smile and says, "Wow, Johnny, that's a mouthful." Little Johnny says, "No, ma'am, you're thinking of a blow job. I'm talking about jerking off."

nooooooo kitty got new tits I like her body the why it was what's next she gets ass implants

I'm hoping to see more of Victoria and nita became friends just saying

finally there talking hanging out together good job nita and Victoria I hope to see more of you lovely ladies

at least she was not in bed all day .. but she is cute there I said some thing positive

is it just me or is alberto getting a littlie chunky

remember the 4 some they had

lovely leora (Image Content No Longer Available)

Your Jackie Robinson There was a white running back that was five votes away from winning the Heisman and white people didn't even give a sh*t. He was your Jackie Robinson -- a white running back. That's like finding a white rhino or something, you ain't never seen that. And his name was Toby, how beautiful is that? If somebody had told you two years ago that the best running back in the country's going to be a white dude and the president was going to be black -- you'd be at work like, 'Yo, they drug test here.'

How Many Guys a Girl Has Slept With Girls should come with that little card. Remember you were at school you used to go to the library to check out a book? And that little card used to tell you how many people checked that book out. All I'm saying is: some girls come with two cards. She's a bestseller.

Adam's New Organs God came to Adam and said, "I've got some good news and some bad news." "Well, give me the good news first," Adam replied. "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things and have wonderful conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your new intelligent life form and populate this planet." Adam exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?" "The bad news is I only gave you enough blood to operate one of these organs at a time."

Little Johnny... Baby Talk Little Johnny runs into his house and asks, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," says his mom, "Of course not." After Little Johnny runs back outside, his mom hears him yell to his friend, "It's OK, we can keep playing!"

I have join rob1 wgigi mee4youu in the 1000 's post club

Celebrity Look-Alike I was on one of those websites where you upload your picture to the website and it uses face matching technology to find your closest celebrity match. My friend, who's a guy, got Angelina Jolie. I like this technology; he's a guy, he got a girl, I'm going to get a funny celebrity, too. My celebrity look-alike was Anne Frank...Anybody else think Anne Frank maybe shouldn't be on the list of celebs you can get on the site? It should be a light, fun game that you play while you're screwing around on the Internet at work. Not something that immediately references the Holocaust.

Engaged for 10 Months My girl wants to change the engagement rules. She tells me, 'Babe, why do I got to wear a ring and let guys know I'm taken, and you don't got to wear nothing?' I told her, 'Babe, I wear my sad face every day.'

Big Butt I like a big butt, though. I like a butt so big you can sit a clock radio and a drink on it.

Little Johnny's Subsitute Teacher Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school. When he reaches his classroom he looks inside and sees a sub instead of his regular teacher. Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is Ms. Prussy. Not the other word, this word has an r after the first letter.” Johnny started laughing. An hour later he forgot her name and said, “Your name has an r after the first letter -- is it Ms. Crunt?”

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