Max 2017
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Everything posted by Max 2017
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No. Have you had sex this week?
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K-Y Jelly. Chicken pie or Steak pie?
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Yes. Have you ever gone back for sex and fallen asleep?
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Run. Monster or Red Bull?
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Yes. Have you had a dream about a teacher or someone you have worked with?
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This boy has just taken his girlfriend to her home after being out together, and when they reach the front door he leans with one hand on the wall and says to her, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?" "What? You're crazy!" she said. "Look, don't worry", he said. It will be quick, I promise you." "Nooooo! Someone may see us, a neighbour, anybody..." "At this time of the night no one will show up. Come on, sweetie, I really need it." "I've already said NO, and NO is final!" "Honey, It'll just be a really small blowie.. I know you like it too." "No!!! I've said NO!!!" Desperately, he says, "My love, don't be like that. I promise you I love you and really need this." At this moment the younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown and her hair totally disorder. Rubbing her eyes she says: "Dad says, 'Dammit, give him the blowjob or i'll have to blow him but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom button so the rest of the family can get some sleep."
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Chinese. Feet massage or back massage?
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1 hour and 35 mins plenty time.
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No, does anyone? Had an orange earlier. Have you sent naughty pics?
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Yes, in the shower about an hour ago. Have you masturbated today?
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No. Have you ever had sex in a family members bed?
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A man walks into a bar late at night completely knackered and dripping with sweat and orders 5 whiskies. "What's wrong with you?" The barman says. "In my car I've got a nymphomaniac, you couldn't satisfy her if you were there til Christmas," he replies. "We'll see about that," says the barman and goes out to the car park. He has been in the car with the woman for a while when there is a knock on the window and a policeman shines his torch in. The barman jumps up and winds down the window to talk to the policeman. "It's all right officer, I'm just shagging the wife," he says. "Oh, "I'm sorry sir, I didn't know it was your wife" replies the cop. The barman replies, "Neither did I til you shone your torch!"
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A Lord got married. After the ceremony unmarried friends went to a brothel. Unexpectedly they met the Lord there. Lord, "What are you doing here now that you are married and have a beautiful young wife?" "Well, she was so tired and fell asleep at once. I thought it is not worth to wake her up for just a few pounds."
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An investigative journalist went to Afghanistan to study the culture and was shocked to discover that women were made to walk ten paces behind the men. She asked her guide why and he said, "Because they are considered of lesser status. "Outraged the journalist went home. A year later she returned covering violence in the region and was surprised to see the women walking ten paces ahead. She turned to her guide this time and asked, "What has changed?" The guide answered, "Land mines."
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Large boobs. Pierced or non-pierced? ( Nipples )
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Most are not by the rules if you look at them. Keeps it going.
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Bike. Blue eyes or Green eyes?
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No. But friends mum would be fun. Have you been caught by the police having sex?
