King Hamlet

Seen Worse.. lol

Lol

That's why they have Ignore Lists. When someone becomes annoying then add them to the list than you don't see what they post any further. 

How the fuck does that place have so many members, it's filled with assholes.. And typical because you are a " Newbie " think you don't know what you are talking about.
@StnCld316 Ban me if you want mate it's full of Bellends. LOL

Not knocking sobriety, but mine is back into the hair of the dog that bit yea.....

Erectile Dysfunction
Any man that's ever been in that position, like for some reason you can't function; it's kind of like trying to put a marshmallow in a coin slot.

Airplane Hijinx
Two women, one from the north and one from the south, are seated next to one another on a plane.
"Where you flyin' to?" says the southern woman. The northern woman turns up her nose.
"Don't you know you should NEVER end a sentence with a preposition?" The southern woman thinks about this for a second.
"Where you flyin' to, bitch?"

Little Johnny... Nickels and Dimes
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime -- Little Johnny always takes the nickel.
One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?"
Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"

If you masturbate on a plane do they charge you with "Hi-jacking"?
 

What's the difference between a jet engine and a flight attendant?
At the end of the flight the jet engine stops whining.
 

There is a man that has three girlfriends, but doesn't know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one £5000 and see how each one of them spends it.
The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, " I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you."
The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man, " I bought these for you with the money because I love you so much."
The third one takes the £5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the £5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, " I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."
 
The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money and decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.

One day at the care home, an old man and woman are talking. Out of nowhere the woman says," I can guess your age."
The man doesn't believe her, but tells her to go ahead and try.
" Pull down your pants," she says.
He doesn't understand but does it anyway. She inspects his rear end for a few minutes and then says, " You're 84 years old."
" That's amazing," the man says. " How did you know? "
" We celebrated your birthday yesterday."

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband walking around with a fly swatter.
" What are you doing? " she asked.
" Hunting flies, " He responded.
" Oh, killing any? " she asked.
" Yep, three males, two females. " he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, how can you tell?
He responded, " Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."

Q: Did you know that O.J. Simpson, Monica Lewinsky, Ted Kennedy and President Bill Clinton are all avid golfers?
A: O.J's a slicer, Monica's a hooker, Ted can't drive over water and Clinton can't seem to hit the right hole!
 

Why did the woman leave her husband after he spent all
their money on a penis enlarger?
She just couldn't take it any longer.
 
Why did the semen cross the road?
Because you wore the wrong socks today.
 
What's the different between a clitoris and a cell phone?
Nothing! Every cunt's got one.
 
What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbour's pussy instead.

How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
 
What's better than a cold bud?
A warm bush.
 
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip-off.
 
How is tightrope walking like getting a blowjob from someone ugly?
If you want to enjoy either, you absolutely can't look down.

The bullshit some of you come out with in the Chatbox is unbelievable, I thought members at CC were crazy but some of you make Julia and Kitty seem normal. They pills that you are given you are to take them for a reason.