box_hunter

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again!
The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE
The bishop was buried the next day.

A man and his wife were awakened at 3am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance" says the husband "it is 3 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push" he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it's 3am in the morning and it's well pouring with rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory" says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! "God loves drunk people too you know".
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes" comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing" replied the drunk.

The value of a Good Vocabulary: I called an old mate and asked what he was doing. He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment". I was very impressed. Upon further inquiry, I learned he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again!
The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE
The bishop was buried the next day.

A man and his wife were awakened at 3am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance" says the husband "it is 3 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push" he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it's 3am in the morning and it's well pouring with rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory" says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! "God loves drunk people too you know".
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes" comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing" replied the drunk.

The value of a Good Vocabulary: I called an old mate and asked what he was doing. He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment". I was very impressed. Upon further inquiry, I learned he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.

The Hell's Angels bikers were riding through London when they saw a girl about to jump off tower bridge. So they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the police officer who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says "Hey Baby... what you doin' up there on that railin'?"
She says tearfully "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
While he didn't want to appear 'sensitive' George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked "Well, before you jump... why don't you give 'ole George here your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that... and it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the police officer. "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, that's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Tits. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing like a girl".
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again!
The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN
The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10
This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE
The bishop was buried the next day.

A man and his wife were awakened at 3am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance" says the husband "it is 3 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push" he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it's 3am in the morning and it's well pouring with rain out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory" says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! "God loves drunk people too you know".
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes" comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing" replied the drunk.

The value of a Good Vocabulary: I called an old mate and asked what he was doing. He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment". I was very impressed. Upon further inquiry, I learned he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.

The value of a Good Vocabulary: I called an old mate and asked what he was doing. He replied that he was working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment". I was very impressed. Upon further inquiry, I learned he was washing dishes with hot water under his wife's supervision.

best resolution ever

This is one tech savvy mum

A warning to all you - be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas. The Police are out there in numbers checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing led to another and I had a few too many beers. Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. Sure enough, I passed a Police control where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyser tests. Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from...

A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: $500 Porsche! New! The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but thought it was worth a shot. So he went to the lady's house and sure enough, she had an almost brand new Porsche.
"Wow!" the man said. "Can I take it for a test drive?" Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly and took it back to the lady's house.
"Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?"
"My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me I could have the house and the furniture as long as I sold his Porsche and sent him the money".

A warning to all you - be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas. The Police are out there in numbers checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing led to another and I had a few too many beers. Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. Sure enough, I passed a Police control where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyser tests. Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from...

A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: $500 Porsche! New! The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but thought it was worth a shot. So he went to the lady's house and sure enough, she had an almost brand new Porsche.
"Wow!" the man said. "Can I take it for a test drive?" Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly and took it back to the lady's house.
"Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?"
"My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me I could have the house and the furniture as long as I sold his Porsche and sent him the money".

A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: $500 Porsche! New! The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but thought it was worth a shot. So he went to the lady's house and sure enough, she had an almost brand new Porsche.
"Wow!" the man said. "Can I take it for a test drive?" Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly and took it back to the lady's house.
"Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?"
"My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me I could have the house and the furniture as long as I sold his Porsche and sent him the money".

A warning to all you - be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas. The Police are out there in numbers checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing led to another and I had a few too many beers. Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. Sure enough, I passed a Police control where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyser tests. Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from...

A warning to all you - be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas. The Police are out there in numbers checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing led to another and I had a few too many beers. Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. Sure enough, I passed a Police control where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyser tests. Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from...

A man was reading the paper when an ad caught his eye: $500 Porsche! New! The man thought that it was very unusual to sell a Porsche for $500, and he thought it might be a joke, but thought it was worth a shot. So he went to the lady's house and sure enough, she had an almost brand new Porsche.
"Wow!" the man said. "Can I take it for a test drive?" Unlike what he expected, the man found that the car ran perfectly and took it back to the lady's house.
"Why are you selling me this great Porsche for only $500?"
"My husband just ran off with his secretary, and he told me I could have the house and the furniture as long as I sold his Porsche and sent him the money".

A warning to all you - be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas. The Police are out there in numbers checking on people. Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing led to another and I had a few too many beers. Not a good idea. Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car where it was and took a bus home. Sure enough, I passed a Police control where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalyser tests. Because I was in a bus they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as I've never driven a bus before and I am not even sure where I got it from...