box_hunter

I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business. This fat chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said "Hi sweetie... how about you take me back to your place and we'll have some fun?" I said "Sorry, I can't. I haven't got any lubricant". She said breathlessly "You won't need any lubricant with me sweetie". I said "Yes I will. I've only got standard size door frames".

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is that you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven".

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said "I want to hang out with God".
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognised Arthur and said "So you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?" Arthur said "Yeah, that's me..."
God said "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?" Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally said "Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said "Ah... yes".

"Well" said Arthur "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention! For example:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension.
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much.
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust.
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!"

"Hmm, you may have some good points there" said God "Hold on".
God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words, and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed" God said to Arthur "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours".

I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business. This fat chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said "Hi sweetie... how about you take me back to your place and we'll have some fun?" I said "Sorry, I can't. I haven't got any lubricant". She said breathlessly "You won't need any lubricant with me sweetie". I said "Yes I will. I've only got standard size door frames".

LOL  can you imagine someone going to Sunday Worship with that type of mask on.  

I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business. This fat chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said "Hi sweetie... how about you take me back to your place and we'll have some fun?" I said "Sorry, I can't. I haven't got any lubricant". She said breathlessly "You won't need any lubricant with me sweetie". I said "Yes I will. I've only got standard size door frames".

I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business. This fat chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said "Hi sweetie... how about you take me back to your place and we'll have some fun?" I said "Sorry, I can't. I haven't got any lubricant". She said breathlessly "You won't need any lubricant with me sweetie". I said "Yes I will. I've only got standard size door frames".

There was a 80-year-old man that married a 21 year-old woman.
A year later the woman had a baby and the doctor came out and told the old man that he was the father of a 9lb 8oz baby boy.
The old man replied "This old motor is still a' running!"
Next year his wife had another baby and the doctor came out and told the man that he was the father of a 8lb 5oz baby girl.
The old man replied "This old motor is still a' running!"
The next year his wife was back in the hospital yet again, having their third child and the doctor came out and told the old man that he was the father of a 10lb 9oz baby boy.
The old man replied again "This old motor is still a' running!''
And the doctor said "Yeah... but you better get your oil changed because this one is black"

He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forwards and backwards, forwards and backwards. Back and forth, back and forth, in and out, in and out. She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling down the small of her back, she was so wet. She moaned softly at first then began to groan louder. Finally, she screamed loudly "Okay, okay!! You smug bastard! You park the fucking car!!".

There was a 80-year-old man that married a 21 year-old woman.
A year later the woman had a baby and the doctor came out and told the old man that he was the father of a 9lb 8oz baby boy.
The old man replied "This old motor is still a' running!"
Next year his wife had another baby and the doctor came out and told the man that he was the father of a 8lb 5oz baby girl.
The old man replied "This old motor is still a' running!"
The next year his wife was back in the hospital yet again, having their third child and the doctor came out and told the old man that he was the father of a 10lb 9oz baby boy.
The old man replied again "This old motor is still a' running!''
And the doctor said "Yeah... but you better get your oil changed because this one is black"

He was in ecstasy with a huge smile on his face as his wife moved forwards and backwards, forwards and backwards. Back and forth, back and forth, in and out, in and out. She could feel the sweat on her forehead, between her breasts and trickling down the small of her back, she was so wet. She moaned softly at first then began to groan louder. Finally, she screamed loudly "Okay, okay!! You smug bastard! You park the fucking car!!".

There was a 80-year-old man that married a 21 year-old woman.
A year later the woman had a baby and the doctor came out and told the old man that he was the father of a 9lb 8oz baby boy.
The old man replied "This old motor is still a' running!"
Next year his wife had another baby and the doctor came out and told the man that he was the father of a 8lb 5oz baby girl.
The old man replied "This old motor is still a' running!"
The next year his wife was back in the hospital yet again, having their third child and the doctor came out and told the old man that he was the father of a 10lb 9oz baby boy.
The old man replied again "This old motor is still a' running!''
And the doctor said "Yeah... but you better get your oil changed because this one is black"