Useful in the Chatbox at times.. Lol

Beer Goggles..

A woman who is three months pregnant falls into a deep coma. Six months later, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you.

Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?

Doctor: Denise.

Woman: Well, it's not that bad, what did he name the boy?

Doctor: Denephew.

She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the t-shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly: "You have to make love to me this very moment!".

My eyes lit up as I thought "I am either still dreaming, or this is going to be my lucky day!". Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave her my all, right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said "Thanks" and returned to the stove, her t-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but still a bit puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?". She explained, "The egg timer is broken". 

What could possibly be more important.. Lol

It's a hard choice..   Any Ideas? Lol

Nobody likes a sore loser. Lol

10 hours ago, Scotsman84 said:

What could possibly be more important.. Lol

I guess this is a question only Pau could answer.

Wife: Darling, do I please you in bed?

Husband: Yes, I love that trick you do with your mouth.

Wife: What trick?

Husband: The one where you shut the fuck up and go to sleep.

My girlfriend left a note on the fridge, "It's not working. I can't take it anymore, I'm going to my mom's place."

I opened the fridge. The light came on. The beer was cold... What the hell is she talking about?

If your Dog is barking at the back door and your Wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after you let him in!

What's the difference between your Wife and your Job?

After Five years your Job will still Suck.