Scotsman84 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Useful in the Chatbox at times.. Lol Create an account to see this content! King Hamlet, CowArt, Max 2017 and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 27, 2017 Share Posted January 27, 2017 Beer Goggles.. Create an account to see this content! Lisa, CowArt, Max 2017 and 1 other 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CowArt Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 A woman who is three months pregnant falls into a deep coma. Six months later, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby. Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you. Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl? Doctor: Denise. Woman: Well, it's not that bad, what did he name the boy? Doctor: Denephew. Scotsman84 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CowArt Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the t-shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly: "You have to make love to me this very moment!". My eyes lit up as I thought "I am either still dreaming, or this is going to be my lucky day!". Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave her my all, right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she said "Thanks" and returned to the stove, her t-shirt still around her neck. Happy, but still a bit puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?". She explained, "The egg timer is broken". oldgit and toolmaker123 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CowArt Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Create an account to see this content! Scotsman84 and Max 2017 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CowArt Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 Create an account to see this content! Scotsman84 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 What could possibly be more important.. Lol Create an account to see this content! Max 2017 and King Hamlet 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 28, 2017 Share Posted January 28, 2017 It's a hard choice.. Any Ideas? Lol Create an account to see this content! Max 2017 and King Hamlet 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Nobody likes a sore loser. Lol Create an account to see this content! Max 2017 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Create an account to see this content! King Hamlet and Max 2017 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toolmaker123 Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 10 hours ago, Scotsman84 said: What could possibly be more important.. Lol Create an account to see this content! I guess this is a question only Pau could answer. Scotsman84 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CowArt Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 Wife: Darling, do I please you in bed? Husband: Yes, I love that trick you do with your mouth. Wife: What trick? Husband: The one where you shut the fuck up and go to sleep. King Hamlet, Scotsman84 and toolmaker123 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CowArt Posted January 29, 2017 Share Posted January 29, 2017 My girlfriend left a note on the fridge, "It's not working. I can't take it anymore, I'm going to my mom's place." I opened the fridge. The light came on. The beer was cold... What the hell is she talking about? Scotsman84, Max 2017, toolmaker123 and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 If your Dog is barking at the back door and your Wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course... at least he'll shut up after you let him in! delta10, King Hamlet and Max 2017 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 30, 2017 Share Posted January 30, 2017 What's the difference between your Wife and your Job? After Five years your Job will still Suck. Max 2017 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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