Penis Enlargement

I sent away for a penis enlarger. They sent me back a magnifying glass.

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?

A: A whine cellar.

On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.  The turbulence is awful,  and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lighting.  One woman in particular loses it.  Screaming,  she stands up in the front of the plane.  "I'm too young to die!"  she wails.  Then she yells,  "Well,  if  I'm gong to die,  I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable,  No one has ever made me really feel like a woman,   Well I've had it,   Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a woman??   For a moment there is silence,  everyone has forgotten their own peril,  and they all stare,  riveted,  at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.  Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane.  "I can make you feel like a woman,"  he says.  This tall, tanned and built guy with jet black eyes starts to walk slowly up the aisle,  unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time.  No one move's,  As this man approaches,  the woman begins to get excited.  He removes his shirt.  Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her,  and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman,  and whispers:.........."Iron this."

Good Girl. LOL

Bedside Confession

Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time.

Julie: "I should warn you, Ted: I've got acute angina."

Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either.

When little girls wear too much makeup, it's called whore-shadowing.

Asian Girlfriend

I love Asian women. I had an Asian girlfriend once -- for an hour. It cost me $150 bucks.

: Nurse Fantasy Games

My wife dresses up like a nurse; then, I dress up like a nurse, also. And then, we don't even have sex, either -- we just sit behind this huge, semicircular wooden desk and get annoyed when people buzz us for juice.