Plank Posted November 16, 2016 Share Posted November 16, 2016 I was wondering what the powers that be might say to the tenants if they are continuing their contracts or ending them. Dear, (insert name here) We are pleased to inform you that your contract with us has been extended. This is due to your viewing figures which have been through the roof. We have also been trolling the 'fan sites' and they love you. Your, (delete where applicable) Nudity, Killer body, Great Tits, Legs to die for, naked yoga, provocative dancing, sexual habits, kinky stuff & creative use of fruit & veg, have made you a internet sensation! However due to the above behaviour, our staff can no longer watch you as we are too busy searching the internet for video captures of you performances and nuke-ing them. We will be in touch with the new scripts soon, keep up the good work! Thank you so much! For & on behalf of......yada yada.... D.Roppabollock. Dear, (insert name here) We are sorry to inform you that your contract with us will be terminated on (insert date here) This is due to various factors, mainly due to your viewing figures sinking faster than a lump of concrete. We are also aware of the negative feedback we have seen on the 'fan sites',and let us be quite frank about this,they hate you. Your, (delete where applicable) lack of Nudity, Saggy arse, Plastic Tits, Sex life of a Nun, awful dancing, singing that sounds like foxes mating, kinky stuff, that is,well....lets face it just wrong & creative use of fruit & veg, are just some of the contributory factors in us terminating your contract. We would be grateful if you could pack up your shite as soon as possible,including all of your mobile phones,laptops & other mobile devices and 'get tae f**k' ! ( no I don't know either,ask Scotsman84 ?) Also according to our records you have exceeded the monthly usage allowance of our internet service provider's tariff, which takes some doing to be honest, but you owe us €1250.00 We expect payment of this as soon as possible. Thank you & get stuffed, For & on behalf of......yada yada.... D.Roppabollock. RUBBERMAN, Viking, Scotsman84 and 5 others 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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