On ‎12‎/‎17‎/‎2018 at 9:14 PM, StnCld316 said:

As Blonde as One Could be.  It's a Tesla.

 

The Perks Of Being Over 60.

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.

4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"

5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

8. You can eat dinner at 4 PM.

9. You can live without sex but not our glasses.

10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.

11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

14. You sing along with elevator music.

15. Your eyes won't get much worse.

16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

20. You can't remember the Web site where you saw this list.

An old man on a crowded bus has trouble finding a seat. The bus careened down the avenue, shaking the passengers from left to right, and the old man unable to support himself properly with his cane, fell to the floor. Little Johnny, sitting nearby looked down at him and said, "If you put a little red cap on the end of your cane, you wouldn't fall like that. The old man looked up and replied, "If your daddy had done the same, I would have a place to sit on this stupid bus."

You can always tell when you are in a real expensive restaurant before you look at the price list, because of the different waiters they have. They cover everything.

The wine waiter is responsible for just the wine. The desert waiter only appears at the end to bring the deserts. The butter waiter brings the butter. The head waiter....

They cover everything.

A man texts his wife and asks "What do you want from life".

She replies "Happiness, security, love and someone to snuggle up to at night"

He was stunned, then realized the auto correct was on.

"I meant what do you want from lidl".