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need a laugh when rlc is dead #2


Pleasant

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On ‎4‎/‎15‎/‎2019 at 8:51 PM, Dragnet said:

This topic is good laugh and always worth checking, but if you want a good laugh the chat is the place to go first. Unbelievable what some people come up with, in tears with laughter. scott walker girl GIF

A fun and enjoyable Chat turned into a complete joke. B.T.R will be turning in his grave.

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An octopus goes into a bar and says "I can play any musical instrument going!" Someone gives him a guitar which he plays better then Hendrix. Then someone gives him a piano which he plays better then Elton John. Then a Scotsman throws him a set of bagpipes... The Octopus fumbles about for a couple of minutes and the Scotsman's says "What's wrong, can ye no play it?" Octopus says "Play it? I'm gonna fuck her brains out once I get her pyjamas off!"

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Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a ship that had sunk. "Follow me son" the father shark said to his son and they swam to the survivors. "First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing". And they did. "Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing". And they did. "Now we eat everybody". And they did. When they were both gorged, the son asked "Dad, why didn't we just eat them? Why did we swim around and around them?" His wise father replied "Because they taste better without the shit inside!"

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AN OBITUARY

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

-Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
-Why the early bird gets the worm;
-Life isn't always fair;
-And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally lost the will to live, after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death:

-by his parents, Truth and Trust,
-by his wife, Discretion,
-by his daughter, Responsibility,
-and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 stepbrothers:

-I Know My Rights
-I Want It Now
-Someone Else Is To Blame
-I'm A Victim
- ay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone.

If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

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