Paddy was telling Murphy about his mate that had fallen off his bike, he has a brain injury, 2 broken legs and blind in one eye "Bejaysus" said Murphy "It's no wonder he fell off".

I came out of the supermarket this morning and there was a woman crying her eyes out. She'd lost all her holiday money. I felt so sorry for her I gave her $50. I don't usually do that kind of thing but I'd just found $2000 in the car park.

Karen was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband Peter. Suddenly, Peter burst into the kitchen.

"Be careful" he said "Karen be careful! Put in some more butter! Jesus Christ! You're cooking too many at once. Too many! Turn eggs! Turn eggs now! We need more butter. Oh my Gosh! Where are we going to get more butter? They're going to stick! Careful woman careful! I said be careful! You never listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn eggs again! Hurry up! Are you kidding? You are really crazy. Have you lost your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Where is the salt? Use the salt. Use the salt! The salt!"

Karen, unbelievably, stared at her husband. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

Peter calmly replied "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving car".

Remember under your fingernails. LOL 

16 hours ago, Scotsman84 said:

Great idea and time well spent.