mikeusa

I see angie still doing her mole sex thing

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex. The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night, she does just that. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages." "Nah," she says, "that's okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Wife: "How would you describe me?" Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"

neia did not lick the milk off bea body damn and bye the why that's a Waste of good milk I hope same day a table Breaks on them While there dancing on it...

Three Americans were up against a very large Russian in a wrestling meet. They were nervous because he had a famous move called "The Russian Pretzel," which often landed his opponents in the hospital. When the first American caught a glimpse of him, he said, "Coach, he's HUGE. I'm scared." The coach replied, "You da MAN! Just go in there and tear him up!" The guy started the match quite confidently, but after about a minute, the Russian picked him up, slammed him into the famous pretzel, and sent him to the emergency room. The same thing happened to the second wrestler, so the third guy was petrified. He told his coach he was backing out. The coach said, "C'mon, son. You're our last chance!" The kid started out pretty well, but when the Russian started to twist him into the pretzel, the coach covered his eyes. When he opened them, he saw the referee holding the American's hand up in victory. The coach, baffled, asked the kid how he did it. "Well Coach, when that damn Russian picked me up and started twisting my body, it HURT! So when I saw two red things dangling there, I bit them... HARD! You'd be surprised what you can do when you bite your own balls!"

One man is walking a tightrope. Another man is getting a blow job from a 90-year-old woman.What do the men have in common?In order to succeed, both must follow the same advice: don't look down.

This Joke is Bananas! Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: "What are you shaking about, it's me she's going to eat."

Nixon, Carter, Kennedy are on a boat. The boat's going down. Carter says, 'Women and children first.' Nixon says, 'Screw them.' Kennedy says, 'Do you think we have time?'

Q: What goes in hard and pink but comes out soft and mushy? A: Bubblegum -- and you should be ashamed of yourself.

I have notice this when I log in I go and see how many members are online there are Usually 50 to 70 members online but if there's a big party in the Barcelona apartments it will go up to a 100 to 112 members online and same those members that are online don't use the chat room they just read it and see what's going on. or they jump ship and go to camcaps

Masturbation Is a Biological Necessity I tried to stop the first day or two of our marriage, and I promise you, my nuts ballooned quicker than Oprah in a Krispy Kreme.

Dabbling in Marriage Marriage? Sure. Dabbled in it a little during the late 80s. Wild stuff, brother, wild stuff.

Beach Outing Went to the beach today. I could feel the women just dressing me with their eyes.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing in a circle? A: A dope ring.

Q: Why are blonde jokes one-liners? A: So brunettes can understand them.