mikeusa

Q: Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar? A: She heard drinks were on the house.

A man comes home from work to find his wife sliding down the banister. "What are you doing?" he asks. She answers, "Warming up your dinner."

Bang Bang! Q: Why did the mirror have holes in it? A: A moron kept trying to shoot himself.

Please be respectful and only post positive comments. welcome luci and kust

I was reading the chat room around the after noon and same of them was talking about having the girls vk Account and other accounts that they have of the past girls that was in old b1 and b2 and my Question is why would have there accounts any ways is that Borderline stalking? .... if you can't Figure out why they have there account block may be it's because they don't want to be stalk or creep out....there I Spoke my mind

Circuit City Sex When it comes to sex, I like to refer to my wife as Circuit City because she has no interest until January of next year.

On Young Women Marrying Old Men Now, if they were just honest about it and were like, 'Look, this guy's going to die in, like, seven or eight minutes; I'm going to get a bag of cash and a Lexus,' I wouldn't have a problem with it.

: Not Into Older Women I'd be like, 'Lady, get the hell away from me! You're old, you're gross -- I'm sorry. I'm sure you were unbelievable back in the 20s, when you were doing the Charleston, making beer in your bathtub, but you're at least four decades past humpable. I'm sorry.'

Beyond Impotent A woman tells her doctor, "My husband is 300% impotent. The doctor asks her, "I'm not quite sure what you mean. Could you elaborate?" She replies, "Well, the first part you can imagine, but he also burned his tongue and broke his finger."

Banana Peel An idiot walking down the street spots a banana peel and sighs. "Here we go again!

well I was watching the ladies play topless European football that was Different but fun to watch there bouncing tits thank you ladies

yes we are suppose voyeurs not stalkers I try to joke around in the chat room couple of times or give same one a hard time but I miss some of my new friends I made in the chat room ... but also I do try to make fun of other apartments at times when I'm in the chat room so I will just pop in and out of the chat room when I can but if they start Speculating I just leave the chat room....... .. just Speaking my mind guys so don't take it the wrong way

it was a nice get to together the twins did stay the night b4 must be a hour away for them to stay the night...

Balls & Old Ladies Q: What has 75 balls and screws old ladies? A: Bingo.

Baking Blondes Two blondes walk into a tanning salon. The receptionist asks, "Are you two sisters?" They chuckled and reply, " No, we aren't even Catholic

Bad Pickup Line Is that Windex in your pants? Because I can sure see myself in them.

Bad Food A doctor tells a group of patients, "The material we put into our stomachs is terrible. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High-fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" An old man raises his hand and says, "Wedding cake."

Bad Day for Blondie Q: How do you know a blonde is having a bad day? A: Her tampon is behind her ear, and she can't find her pencil.

Ash Blonde Q: How did the blonde die raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree.

Acute Pain And there's a reason for this, why men experience pain more acutely than women -- that's because there's always part of a woman's brain thinking about shoes.

Ex-Girlfriend's Parakeet My ex-girlfriend owned a parakeet...oh my god, that fucking thing would never shut up. But the bird was cool.

Sex Ed At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV. Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. “Great,” said the teacher, “that's very important.” Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married. “Well, that has to do with it too,” said the teacher. Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all. The teacher said, “Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education.” “Yes it does,” said Johnny, ” it taught those Indians not to fuck with John Wayne.”

Don't Kill Your Wife What's up with all these guys killing their wives now? Like, every couple of weeks in the news, you see that shit -- guys killing their wives. I don't understand it. First of all, why would you kill another person, and second of all, don't they think the whole thing through? Like, how the whole thing's gonna play out? Like, 'I'm gonna kill my wife, then I'm gonna get caught, then I'm gonna go to jail, then I'm gonna get fucked in the ass.'

Artificial Intelligence in a Bottle Q: What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair brown? A: Artificial intelligence.