mikeusa

: Polygamist Wedding Vows I promise to love, honor and cherish you -- for about two days a month.

She is so blonde that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice.

Q: What did the blonde do when she couldn't afford a personalized license plate? A: She changed her name to JKM345.

Q: What's worse than a redhead and a brunette trying to build a house underwater? A: A blonde trying to set fire to it.

Q: A blonde and a brunette jumped off a cliff. Who hit bottom first? A: The brunette -- the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

Blond Father A blond man and a brunette woman were happily married and about to have a baby. One day, the wife started having contractions, so the husband rushed her to the hospital, and she gave birth to two baby boys. The blond man turned to his wife and yelled, "All right, who's the other father?"

Black Eyes A little boy with two black eyes walks into church one Sunday. The priest notices him and is very concerned. "What happened, my child?" "I was singing in the choir, Father, and I noticed that the girl in front of me had a wedgie. So I pulled it out, and she punched me in the eye." "Okay. But how did you get the other black eye?" "Well, I thought I'd done something wrong. So I put her wedgie back."

Blonde at the Elmo Factory A blonde who really needed a job saw an ad in the newspaper for an opening job at an Elmo factory. She applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she really needed the money. Finally the manager hired her. After a few hours, the manager noticed that the conveyer belt was backed up. He went downstairs to find out what was wrong. He saw that the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo. The manager told her, "I said to give each Elmo two test tickles -- not two testicles!"

no personal accounts should be giving out at all or it will be ban hammer time

: Nurse Fantasy Games My wife dresses up like a nurse; then, I dress up like a nurse, also. And then, we don't even have sex, either -- we just sit behind this huge, semicircular wooden desk and get annoyed when people buzz us for juice.

Asian Girlfriend I love Asian women. I had an Asian girlfriend once -- for an hour. It cost me $150 bucks.

When little girls wear too much makeup, it's called whore-shadowing.

Bedside Confession Ted and Julie go to bed with each other for the first time. Julie: "I should warn you, Ted: I've got acute angina." Ted: "Your breasts aren't bad either.

I'm happy to see dasha and her cute little ass

thank you ladies for having a party bring the guys over and teasing them and us also

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes? A: A whine cellar.

Penis Enlargement I sent away for a penis enlarger. They sent me back a magnifying glass.