Max 2017
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Everything posted by Max 2017
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Fork. I sometimes cause pain when I go in. I'll fill your holes if you ask me to. I ask you to spit not swallow? -
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A man walks into a bar and says, " I just got back from the battered woman's shelter, and boy are my arms tired. " Everyone laughed. The man sat at the end of the bar drinking alone. He was proud of the craftsmanship of the shelves he put up in the shelter's pantry, regardless of what others may think.
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Pockets. What starts with C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
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Chewing gum. Some people prefer being on top, others prefer being on the bottom, and it always involves a bed.
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Kitchen Designer.
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Beat me to it @atheris lol
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Kitchen. Kitchen table is always good. Favourite thing you enjoy being done to you?
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Think if you watch most on any site, most have a cocky or love themselves attitude but some just make it more obvious than others.
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Naughty mind is a good mind.. lol
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As soon as they start acting for the cameras just gets boring and so obvious... Masha is black belt at it.. lol
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Bacon Roll. Morning sex or evening sex?
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A redhead, a brunette and a blonde were on their way to heaven. God told them the stairs to heaven were 1,000 steps and on every step he was going to tell them a joke. If they laughed they would not be able to get to heaven. So the redhead made it to the 45th step and laughed. The brunette made it to the 200th step and laughed. But the blonde made it to the 999th step and laughed even before god told his joke. God asked, " Why did you laugh I haven't even told the joke yet?" The blonde said, " I know I just got the first one!!! "
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A teacher asks her class, " What do you want to be when you grow up? " Little Johnny says, " I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". The teacher shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behaviour of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. " And you, Susie? " the teacher asks. Susie says, " I wanna be Johnny's bitch."
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2017/18.. Romelu Lukaku
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Maybe I can't count but I thought there was 21 Apartments to chat about....... lol
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Hopefully, the girl looks like she could be quite dirty...
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A nurse was on duty in the emergency department, when a punk rocker entered. This young woman had purple hair styled into a Mohawk, a variety of tattoos and strange clothing. It was determined that the patient had acute appendicitis and was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff found that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it was a tattoo reading: ' Keep off the grass.' After the prep and the surgery, the surgeon added a small note to the dressing which said: "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."
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Why are men with pierced ears better prepared for marriage? They've experienced pain and bought jewellery. What's the difference between a bandleader and a gynaecologist? A bandleader fucks his singers and a gynaecologist sucks his fingers.
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A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn't want to pay the high prices. After unsuccessfully haggling with one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, " Maybe i'll just go and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price. Later in the day, the shopkeeper spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. She took aim at the alligator, killed it and hauled it onto the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blonde flipped the alligator on it's back and shouted in frustration, " Damn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either. "
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Not stopping the fact it annoys some is good.. Now you know how some of us feel having to read the same rubbish over and over from the same people day in day out.
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Don't blame you it's the same crap over and over.. Not worth trying to chat you just get ignored or just goes back to chatting about B1 and B2.. Paint drying would be more fun.. lol
