Shaggy

An old man on a crowded bus has trouble finding a seat. The bus careened down the avenue, shaking the passengers from left to right, and the old man unable to support himself properly with his cane, fell to the floor. Little Johnny, sitting nearby looked down at him and said, "If you put a little red cap on the end of your cane, you wouldn't fall like that. The old man looked up and replied, "If your daddy had done the same, I would have a place to sit on this stupid bus."

The Perks Of Being Over 60.
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
9. You can live without sex but not our glasses.
10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
14. You sing along with elevator music.
15. Your eyes won't get much worse.
16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
20. You can't remember the Web site where you saw this list.

An old man on a crowded bus has trouble finding a seat. The bus careened down the avenue, shaking the passengers from left to right, and the old man unable to support himself properly with his cane, fell to the floor. Little Johnny, sitting nearby looked down at him and said, "If you put a little red cap on the end of your cane, you wouldn't fall like that. The old man looked up and replied, "If your daddy had done the same, I would have a place to sit on this stupid bus."

The Perks Of Being Over 60.
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
9. You can live without sex but not our glasses.
10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
14. You sing along with elevator music.
15. Your eyes won't get much worse.
16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
20. You can't remember the Web site where you saw this list.

The Perks Of Being Over 60.
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
9. You can live without sex but not our glasses.
10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
14. You sing along with elevator music.
15. Your eyes won't get much worse.
16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
20. You can't remember the Web site where you saw this list.

The Perks Of Being Over 60.
1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
9. You can live without sex but not our glasses.
10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.
11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
14. You sing along with elevator music.
15. Your eyes won't get much worse.
16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
20. You can't remember the Web site where you saw this list.

Skin Graft
Does anyone know if its possible to take a skin graft from your buttocks and put it on somebody who isn't family?
Arse skin for a friend.
 
Ikea Taxes
IKEA has been accused of evading over $500 million in taxes. Apparently, prosecutors have been after them for years...
But they're having a really hard time putting their case together.
 

I went to the bottlo Monday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Jim Beam and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Jim Beam before I cycled home. It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black willies, but the one in the middle had a pink willie.
The curator of the gallery realised that they were having trouble interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on for over half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of black men in a predominately white, patriarchal society.
"In fact" he pointed out "some serious critics believe that the pink willie also reflects the cultural and sociological oppression experienced by gay men in contemporary society".
After the curator left, an Irishman, approached the couple and said "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?" "Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the gallery?" asked the couple. "Because I'm the guy who painted it" he replied.
"In fact, there are no black men depicted at all. They're just three Irish coal miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch".

Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower. Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower.
When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall. He wailed to Paul, "I can't believe you! We just finished making love and you come in here and jack-off!"
Paul looks at the wall and says, "What are you talking about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!"
 

Fud
Twat
Poontang
Her Asshole Neighbour
Spasm Chasm

Growler
Whispering Eye
Muff
Dinner

coin slot

Nature's Treasury
Mount Pleasant
Junction of her Thighs
Vertical Bacon Sandwich
Furry Furnace
 

Agree doing that shit is just weird. 

Have and just sounds like a bunch of old pervs confused if they want to fuck them or father them.

Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower. Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower.
When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall. He wailed to Paul, "I can't believe you! We just finished making love and you come in here and jack-off!"
Paul looks at the wall and says, "What are you talking about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!"
 

Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower. Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower.
When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall. He wailed to Paul, "I can't believe you! We just finished making love and you come in here and jack-off!"
Paul looks at the wall and says, "What are you talking about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!"
 

Two gay men, Paul and Tom, were making love one night and had just finished when Paul decided he was going to freshen up in the shower. Tom was laying there thinking about how wonderful Paul was, when he decided he was going to join him in the shower.
When Tom got into the bathroom, he opened up the shower curtain and the first thing he saw was a large cumshot on the wall. He wailed to Paul, "I can't believe you! We just finished making love and you come in here and jack-off!"
Paul looks at the wall and says, "What are you talking about? I wasn't jacking-off, I farted!"