Scotsman84

Never mess with a women's handbag.. lol

Dumbass.. lol

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me. If there was someone selling drugs in this place, weed know. A couple of years ago my therapist told me I had problems letting go of the past. The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise, but the fire trucks ruined it. Why don't the enemies of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles just flip them on their backs?

Fire Fighter

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller. Relationships are like fat people.. Most of them don't work out. My ex-girlfriend told me nothing shocks her anymore... So I switched her digital scale from pounds to kilograms. My wife told me to grow up.. I told her I would when she stopped growing sideways.

Because single woman go home, look in the fridge and go to bed... married women go home, look in the bed and go to the fridge!... Lol

Lol.

Maria, a devout catholic, got married and had 15 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died. Maria passed away 2 weeks later. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked upward and said. " At last, they're finally together. Her sister sitting in the front row said, " Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband or she and her second husband? " The priest replied, " I mean her legs. "

Sore One.

Close But No Cigar.

Little Girls face is priceless.. lol