Scotsman84

What a Dumbass.. Lol

Waste of a perfectly good bed.

A wife hangs up after about half an hour on the phone. The husband is surprised, " Wow, that was quick - usually you girls are at it for two hours at least! " " Yeah, well, it was a wrong number. "

A police officer jumps into his squad car and calls the station. " I have an interesting case here, " he says. " A woman shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped. " " Have you arrested her? " asks the sergeant. " No, not yet. The floor's still wet. "

If he is in the Army god help them... If they ever get in a nose picking War they will wind hands down there men are good at that. lol

Very Nice. lol

Heard it's lovely there.. lol

It's a Tight one.. lol

She is always there.. lol

Bet the women there are happy.. lol

Where Paul disappears too.. lol

My wife was always after me to go shopping with her. Then I began wearing my favourite T-Shirt. She doesn't want me to go shopping with her anymore. Now she takes her mum or her sister..

Once again they don't pay for it so why give a fuck... Going to be big shock for most of them when they get their on place and get things called Bills..

Two guys are playing golf. The woman in front of them are really taking their time and are slowing the men up. So one man says to his friend, " I'm going to ask those ladies if we can play through. " He starts walking, but about halfway there, he turns around. When he gets back, his friend asks what happened. He replies, " One of those women is my wife, and the other is my mistress. Why don't you go talk to them? " So the second man starts to walk over. He gets half way there and turns around. When he gets back, his friend asks, " Now what happened? To this he replies, " Small World. "

Only god knows how she can get two guys willing to fuck her.... She is a Pig

I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school and don't do vegetables. Thanks for explaining the word " many " to me, it means a lot. He is street smart. Sesame Street smart. That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is " act natural, you're innocent ". My wife made me a Millionaire. I was a Multi-Millionaire before we met.

Glad your ok mate.. Need you back get some of these nutters put in their place.. lol

How did I escape Iraq? Iran. I can't believe I got sacked from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off. eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches. Thieves broke into my house and stole everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards. What was Forrest Gump's email password? " 1forrest1 "