A little boy and his friends are being called bastards and bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks, " Dad, what are bastards and bitches?" And his dad replies, " Bitches are ladies and Bastards are gentlemen. " Then the boy goes upstairs to see his mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally knocks over a perfume bottle, and his mom says, " Shit! " " Mom, what is shit?" and she says, " Perfume. " So he goes to see his dad ( who is carving a chicken ), and his dad cuts himself and yells, " Fuck! " The boy asks, " Dad, what does fuck mean?" and dad says " Preparing. " Then he follows his dad upstairs. A few minutes later his mom and dad are about to have sex when his dad says, " Where are the condoms? " The little boy asks, " What are condoms? " and his father says, " Condoms are coats and jackets. " The following night his father invites over some important business clients. The boy opens the door for them and says, " Hello! Please come in, bastdards and bitches. Hang your condoms up here, my mom is upstairs rubbing shit on her face and my dad is in the kitchen fucking the chicken. "