Scotsman84

Very popular is see lol

What a waste she looked nice tae, another wham bam thankyou mam lol

It changes every bloody week lol One says one thing and another says another lol Welcome Annie

A boy says to a girl, " So, sex at my place? " "Yeah!" "Okay, but i sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we're making sandwiches, so we have a code. Cheese means faster and Tomato means harder, okay?" Later on the girl is yelling, " Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!" The younger brother says, " Stop making sandwiches! Your getting mayo all over my bed!"

A man and woman have been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights of when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said " I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!" He said, " Explain the kids!"

Didn't think this page could get any worse, but it has lol

Also has a talent for being burst one minuite and sober the next lol

She ain't nothing special, Diana was alot better but he made an arse of that.

Aye lol More chance of hell freezing over or Lev buying a new shirt

Hey girl, I heard you were looking for a knight in shining armour. I just so happen to be wearing the armour of God.

My Girlfriend has twelve breasts. It seems kind of freaky, dozen-tit?

Two men are hunting Buffalo. One put his ear to the ground He lifted his head up and said " Buffalo Come " The other said " How do you Know? " " Ear sticky "

I asked my wife for breakfast in bed.... She told me to sleep in the kitchen

Battle of the stalkers lol

Would say What's he done now, but probably fuck all as always lol

What's the difference between a ferrari and an erection? I don't have a Ferrari.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cause i can see myself in your pants

Feel like my world has ended lol best pick up line too lol

Did you have Lucky Charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

I was so enchanted by your beauty that i ran into that wall over there. So I'm going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

Nelly and Masha what a sandwich that would be

Pretty sure if you went there the state of her room would be last thing on your mind lol especially after you have given her one of the famous pick up lines lol and its worked

Sometimes it is very important if a sentence was said by a man or woman. A good example: " I used a whole pack of tissues during that awesome movie yesterday!"

What's the speed limit of sex? ( What? ) 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!

You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and i just want it for one night.