box_hunter

During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the part that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble". The lady starts taking off her undies but is interrupted by the doctor. "No! No! Leave your knickers on... just stick out your tongue!"

Mum was cleaning Junior's room one day and she found a bondage magazine under his bed. This made her very upset. She put it back under his bed until his father got home and showed him. He gave it a look and handed it right back to her without a word, so she asked him "What should we do about this?" Dad paused and said "Well, whatever you do, I don't think you should spank him".

After the UN summit, it was really shameful to see so many people basically openly mocking a mentally challenged child. Though to be fair, Trump kinda had it coming.

During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the part that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble". The lady starts taking off her undies but is interrupted by the doctor. "No! No! Leave your knickers on... just stick out your tongue!"

During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the part that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble". The lady starts taking off her undies but is interrupted by the doctor. "No! No! Leave your knickers on... just stick out your tongue!"

Mum was cleaning Junior's room one day and she found a bondage magazine under his bed. This made her very upset. She put it back under his bed until his father got home and showed him. He gave it a look and handed it right back to her without a word, so she asked him "What should we do about this?" Dad paused and said "Well, whatever you do, I don't think you should spank him".

A blonde redneck guy finds a lamp. He rubs it and a Genie emerges. The Genie tells him he will be granted three wishes. The Guy thinks for a moment and says "First, give me a bottomless mug of beer". A mug of beer appears in his hand. He sips it once, then again and the mug is magically refilled. The Guy is thrilled and continues to drink. The mug never empties. Then the Genie says "And what about your other two wishes?" The guy thinks for a moment and says "Give me two more just like this one!"

During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the part that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble". The lady starts taking off her undies but is interrupted by the doctor. "No! No! Leave your knickers on... just stick out your tongue!"

After the UN summit, it was really shameful to see so many people basically openly mocking a mentally challenged child. Though to be fair, Trump kinda had it coming.

During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the part that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble". The lady starts taking off her undies but is interrupted by the doctor. "No! No! Leave your knickers on... just stick out your tongue!"

After the UN summit, it was really shameful to see so many people basically openly mocking a mentally challenged child. Though to be fair, Trump kinda had it coming.

During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the part that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble". The lady starts taking off her undies but is interrupted by the doctor. "No! No! Leave your knickers on... just stick out your tongue!"

During a lady's medical examination, the doctor says "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the part that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble". The lady starts taking off her undies but is interrupted by the doctor. "No! No! Leave your knickers on... just stick out your tongue!"

After the UN summit, it was really shameful to see so many people basically openly mocking a mentally challenged child. Though to be fair, Trump kinda had it coming.

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job.
"Okay" the sheriff drawled "What is 1 and 1?" "Eleven" she replied.
The sheriff thought to himself "That's not what I meant, but she's right". Then the sheriff asked "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?". "Today and tomorrow" replied the blonde.
He was again surprised that the blonde supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now, listen carefully, who killed Abraham Lincoln?" asked the sheriff. The blonde looked a little surprised herself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted "I don't know". The sheriff replied "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, the blonde wandered over to the beauty parlour, where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview.
The blonde was exultant.
"It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"

The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so a blonde went in to try out for the job.
"Okay" the sheriff drawled "What is 1 and 1?" "Eleven" she replied.
The sheriff thought to himself "That's not what I meant, but she's right". Then the sheriff asked "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?". "Today and tomorrow" replied the blonde.
He was again surprised that the blonde supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.
"Now, listen carefully, who killed Abraham Lincoln?" asked the sheriff. The blonde looked a little surprised herself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted "I don't know". The sheriff replied "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?"
So, the blonde wandered over to the beauty parlour, where her pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview.
The blonde was exultant.
"It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"

A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. 
The guy says aloud "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot...?" The parrot says "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot".
"Holy crap" the guy replies "You actually understood and answered me!" "I got every word" says the parrot "I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird"
"Oh yeah?" the guy asks. "Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet?" "Well" the parrot says "this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook. You can't see it, because of my feathers".
"Wow" says the guy. "You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you...?" "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion".
The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. 
"Sorry, but I just can't afford that".
"Pssssssst" says the parrot "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"
The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational.
He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathises and he's insightful. 
The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes "Psssssssssssst" and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the postman".
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy. "When he delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door... in a sheer black nightie".
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, he came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over" reported the parrot.
"NO!" he exclaims "and she let him?" "Yes. 
Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over".
Then the frantic guy demands "THEN WHAT HAPPENED!?" "DUNNO! I got an erection, and fell off my perch!"

Husband was sunbathing in the nude when he got sunburn on his Willy. He went to the doctors who recommended bathing it in cold milk. His wife came home from work just as he was sitting there with his Willy in a cup of cold milk "I always wondered how you refill those things!" said his wife.

A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. 
The guy says aloud "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot...?" The parrot says "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot".
"Holy crap" the guy replies "You actually understood and answered me!" "I got every word" says the parrot "I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird"
"Oh yeah?" the guy asks. "Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet?" "Well" the parrot says "this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook. You can't see it, because of my feathers".
"Wow" says the guy. "You really can understand, and can speak English, can't you...?" "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me, I'd be a great companion".
The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. 
"Sorry, but I just can't afford that".
"Pssssssst" says the parrot "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!"
The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational.
He has a great sense of humour, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathises and he's insightful. 
The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes "Psssssssssssst" and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife, and the postman".
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy. "When he delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door... in a sheer black nightie".
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"
"Well, he came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over" reported the parrot.
"NO!" he exclaims "and she let him?" "Yes. 
Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over".
Then the frantic guy demands "THEN WHAT HAPPENED!?" "DUNNO! I got an erection, and fell off my perch!"