need a laugh when rlc is dead #1

mikeusa · November 30, 2017

Bad Day for Blondie

Q: How do you know a blonde is having a bad day?

A: Her tampon is behind her ear, and she can't find her pencil.

Max 2017 · November 30, 2017

George Michael and Elton John are releasing a gay version of the Wizard of Oz.

It's called Swallow the Yellow thick Load.

Max 2017 · November 30, 2017

I went to a fancy dress party the other week, wearing only a pair of Y-fronts. A woman at the party said to me, "This is a fancy dress party, what are you supposed to be?" "A premature ejaculation," I said.

"What do you mean?" replied the woman. "I've come in my pants," I said.

RUBBERMAN · December 3, 2017

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?

The dog, he'll shut up once you let him in.

mikeusa · December 3, 2017

Bad Food

A doctor tells a group of patients, "The material we put into our stomachs is terrible. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High-fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?" An old man raises his hand and says, "Wedding cake."

mikeusa · December 3, 2017

Bad Pickup Line

Is that Windex in your pants?

Because I can sure see myself in them.

mikeusa · December 3, 2017

Baking Blondes

Two blondes walk into a tanning salon. The receptionist asks, "Are you two sisters?"

They chuckled and reply, " No, we aren't even Catholic

mikeusa · December 3, 2017

Balls & Old Ladies

Q: What has 75 balls and screws old ladies?

A: Bingo.

RUBBERMAN · December 3, 2017

A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds section with the heading "Wife Wanted." - The next day he received a hundred letters saying "You can have mine."

Scotsman84 · December 5, 2017