Scotsman84 Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. " You'll get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant. " No, no no!" said the man. " I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years! " Conor, Danny, Max 2017 and 5 others 5 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted December 29, 2017 Share Posted December 29, 2017 Two ladies were outside smoking one day when it started to rain. One of the ladies took out a condom, cut off the tip, and put it over her cigarette. The other lady said, " Hey, that's a good idea. What's that called?" The lady responded, " It's a condom." The other lady said, " Where can you get one of those?" She said, " Oh, just about any grocery or drug store." So, the next day, the lady went to a local drug store, went up to the cashier and said, " I need to get some condoms." The cashier looked at her puzzled (because of her age) and said, " UH, what size?" The lady responded, " Hmmm, one that would fit a camel." Conor, Danny, Max 2017 and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 Create an account to see this content! Conor and Max 2017 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted December 30, 2017 Share Posted December 30, 2017 Create an account to see this content! Max 2017 and Danny 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 1, 2018 Share Posted January 1, 2018 Create an account to see this content! delta10, Max 2017, King Hamlet and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Danny, King Hamlet and Max 2017 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Max 2017, King Hamlet and Conor 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 4, 2018 Share Posted January 4, 2018 Create an account to see this content! King Hamlet, Max 2017, Shadow V and 4 others 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Max 2017 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Danny, Chucky, Conor and 1 other 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUBBERMAN Posted January 5, 2018 Share Posted January 5, 2018 Do you know what was happening 167 years ago this fall...back in 1850? California became a state The people had no electricity The state had no money Almost everyone spoke Spanish There were gunfights in the streets So basically nothing has changed except the women had real tits and the men didn't hold hands. Scotsman84 and Chucky 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted January 6, 2018 Share Posted January 6, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Max 2017 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeusa Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked puzzled. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere." delta10 and leon34 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeusa Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 A couple are rushing into the hospital because the wife is going into labor. As they walk, a doctor says to them that he has invented a machine that splits the pain between the mother and father. They agree to it and are led into a room where they get hooked up to the machine. The doctor starts it off at 20% split towards the father. The wife says, "Oh, that's actually better." The husband says he can't feel anything. Then the doctor turns it to 50% and the wife says that it doesn't hurt nearly as much. The husband says he sill can't feel anything. The Doctor, now encouraged, turns it up to 100%. The husband still can't feel anything, and the wife is really happy, because there is now no pain for her. The baby is born. The couple go home and find the postman groaning in pain on the doorstep. leon34 and delta10 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mikeusa Posted January 7, 2018 Share Posted January 7, 2018 A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, "It's my husband, you have to leave!" The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something. He goes back to the house and says to the woman, "Wait, I'm your husband!" She replies giving him a dirty look, "So why did you run?" leon34 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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