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Comebacks & Roasts.


Scotsman84

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If hot air makes a balloon go up what's keeping you down?

What time is lunch, and is there any left after you eat?

You could be in the movies - you could play crowd scenes all by yourself.

I wouldn't jump up and down, you could cause an earthquake.

I guess those enlargement pills are working - You're twice the dick you were yesterday!

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  • 1 month later...
On ‎3‎/‎15‎/‎2018 at 1:10 PM, Shadow V said:

If hot air makes a balloon go up what's keeping you down?

What time is lunch, and is there any left after you eat?

You could be in the movies - you could play crowd scenes all by yourself.

I wouldn't jump up and down, you could cause an earthquake.

I guess those enlargement pills are working - You're twice the dick you were yesterday!

Like the last one the best. 

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No, those pants don't make you look fatter - how could they?

Hey, you have something on your chin.... no, the 3rd one down.

I've stepped in something that was smarter than you... smelled better too.

You've got less meat in your pants than there is in a vegetarian restaurant.

I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won.

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You're so ugly the only dates you get are on a calendar.

You're the reason they invented double doors.

Fake hair, Fake nails, Fake smile. Are you sure you weren't made in China?

Mirrors can't talk, and lucky for you they can't laugh either.

Behind every fat woman there's a beautiful woman. No seriously, you're in the way.

You're so ugly, you had tinted windows on your incubator.

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If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.

I was hoping to go for battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.

Don't you get tired of putting on makeup on two faces every morning?

You're so fat you need chat codes to play Wii Fit.

Please, I could remove 99% of your 'beauty' with a tissue.  :D

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1 hour ago, Pleasant said:

Can't remember the writer/author who said it to him, but someone asked Mick Jagger about his very noticeable wrinkles. He told him they were laughter lines.

The guy looked back and said "Nothing can be that funny".

 

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