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Yo Momma Jokes.


Scotsman84

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Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing

Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, " We are family, even tho you are fatter than me."

Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Yo momma is so stupid she brought a spoon to the super bowl.

Yo momma is so fat I tried driving around her and I ran out of fuel.

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  • 2 months later...

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, "Sorry, no professionals.

Yo momma's so fat and old when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mother to move out of the way.

Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell, no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.

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Yo momma is so stupid when an intruder broke into her house, she ran downstairs, dialled 9-1-1 on the microwave, and couldn't find the "CALL" button.

Yo momma is so fat, the only way to get her out a phone booth is to grease her thighs and throw a Twinkie in the street.

Yo momma is so fat she went to church with heels on and when she came back home they were flats.

Yo momma is so ugly when her house was being robbed, the mugger took off his mask and made her wear it.

Yo momma is so fat the bears have to hide their food from her when she goes camping.

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Yo momma's so dumb, when y'all were driving to Disneyland, she saw a sign that said "Disneyland left," so she went home.

Yo momma so stupid she stuck a battery up her ass and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"

Yo momma is so hairy, when she went to the movie theater to see Star Wars, everybody screamed and said, "IT'S CHEWBACCA!"

Yo momma is so stupid she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side

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Yo momma so ugly she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.

Yo momma so stupid, when told she had lost her mind, she went looking for it.

Yo momma so fat the only letters she knows in the alphabet are K.F.C!

Yo momma so ugly, the army doesn't use guns any more - they use her picture.

Yo momma so poor the ducks throw bread at her.

Yo momma is so fat if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.

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Yo momma so fat when she sat on the back of the bus it did a wheelie.

Yo momma so stupid she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed.

Yo momma is so ugly her parents had to feed her with a slingshot.

Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved.

Yo momma is so poor she went running after the garbage truck with a grocery list.

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Yo momma's breath smelled so bad when she walked by a clock it said, "Tick Tac".   

Yo momma so fat she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.                          

Yo momma's armpit is so hairy it looks like she has Bigfoot in a headlock.           

Yo momma is like a campfire, everybody gets to stick their wieners in.

 

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Yo momma so lazy she won the Netflix marathon

Yo momma so nasty she brings crabs to the beach

Yo momma's butt cheeks are so big, even Moses couldn't part them

Yo momma so stank, she uses Dr. Scholl Odor Eaters for panty liners

Yo momma is such a slut, she has a number dispenser on her bedpost

Yo momma so ugly when she looks in the mirror Michael Jackson sings beat it

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Yo momma is so fat, when she was floating in the ocean Spain claimed her for a new world.

Yo momma is so stupid, she tried to talk into an envelope to send a voicemail.

Yo momma is so ugly the Terminator said, " I won't be back."

Yo momma's like a shotgun, two cocks and she blows.

Yo momma is so fat, when she sweats she causes a tsunami.

Yo momma is so hairy when you were born you had a carpet burn.

Yo momma's hair is so full of dandruff, when she shook her head the principal called a snow day.

 

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