box_hunter Posted December 23, 2018 Share Posted December 23, 2018 A man walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase some see-through lingerie for his wife as a Christmas Present. He is shown several possibilities that range from $50 to $150 in price, the more see-through, the higher the price. He opts for the sheerest item, pays the $150 and takes the lingerie home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on and model it for him. Upstairs the wife thinks "I have an idea. It's so see-through that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on - I'll do the modelling naked, return it tomorrow, get a $150 refund and keep the money for myself". So she appears naked at the top of the stairs and strikes a pose. The husband says "Fuck me! It wasn't that creased in the shop". Scorpio 22, delta10, Scotsman84 and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUBBERMAN Posted December 24, 2018 Share Posted December 24, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Wazzer and DIRTYHARRY 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUBBERMAN Posted December 24, 2018 Share Posted December 24, 2018 Create an account to see this content! DIRTYHARRY, Scotsman84, Wazzer and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUBBERMAN Posted December 24, 2018 Share Posted December 24, 2018 Create an account to see this content! DIRTYHARRY 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RUBBERMAN Posted December 24, 2018 Share Posted December 24, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Scotsman84 and DIRTYHARRY 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
box_hunter Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 Merry Christmas everyone.. BOILED CHRISTMAS FRUITCAKE RECIPE 1 cup butter 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 cup sugar 1 cup brown sugar 4 Large eggs 1 tablespoon lemon juice 1 cup dried fruit 1 tablespoon nuts 1 bottle whisky METHOD: Sample whisky to check for quality. Take large bowl. Check Whisky again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat Turn on electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one spoon tea of sugar and beat again. Make sure whisky is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fruit gets stuck in the beaters., pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whisky again to check for consistency. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one ballespoon of brown sugar, or whatever colour you can find. Wix mel. Grease the oven. Turn the cake pan to 350 gredees. Don't forget to beat of the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whLisky again and bo to ged. Nappy Hugh Ear. Scotsman84, Scorpio 22 and delta10 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
box_hunter Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 A beautiful innocent young girl wants to meet Santa Claus so she puts on a robe and stays up late on Christmas Eve. Santa arrives, climbs down the chimney, and begins filling the stockings. He is about to leave when the girl, who happens to be a gorgeous redhead, says in a sexy voice "Oh Santa, please stay. Keep the chill away". Santa replies "HO HO HO, gotta go, gotta go, gotta get the presents to the children, you know". The girl drops the robe to reveal a sexy bra and panties and says in an even sexier voice "Oh, Santa, don't run a mile, just stay for a while". Santa begins to sweat but replies, "HO HO HO, gotta go, gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know". The girl takes off her bra and says, "Oh, Santa. Please. Stay". Santa wipes his brow but replies, "HO HO HO, gotta go, gotta go, gotta get the presents to the children, you know". She loses the panties and says, "Oh Santa... please... stay..." Santa, with sweat pouring off his brow, says, "HEY HEY HEY, gotta stay, gotta stay! Can't get up the chimney this way!" Scorpio 22 and Scotsman84 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
box_hunter Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 It was a cold Christmas Eve and a miserable woman stood on the edge of a high bridge as she contemplated suicide. Just as she tried to step off, she felt someone grab her coat. She turned around to see Santa Claus pulling her back. "Santa Claus?!?" she exclaimed. "Yes indeed, but tell me, why are you out here so miserable on Christmas Eve, young lady?" Santa replied. The woman answered "Well, I have nothing left to live for. I was fired from my job, my husband left with the kids, my landlord is evicting me and my cancer has returned". Santa said to her kindly "Worry not, for Christmas miracles are real. When you go home tonight, you'll have a message from your boss offering you your job back, your husband will be waiting happily with your children, you'll have your apartment back, and your cancer will be gone". "My goodness!" exclaimed the woman. "That is truly a miracle, how can I ever repay you?" Santa grinned slyly as he said, "Well, there is one way.. how about a blowjob?" The woman was so grateful she readily agreed. "Okay, sure!" she said as she got on her knees. She unzipped Santa and gave him the best blowjob of his life. After she had finished, Santa zipped up and asked the woman, "By the way, how old are you?" "I'm 27," she answered as she wiped her mouth. "You're 27 and you still believe in Santa Claus?" Santa said, laughing heartily as he walked off into the night. Scotsman84, delta10 and Scorpio 22 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Scorpio 22, RUBBERMAN and delta10 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 Create an account to see this content! RUBBERMAN and Scorpio 22 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 Create an account to see this content! RUBBERMAN, delta10 and Scorpio 22 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 Create an account to see this content! Scorpio 22, RUBBERMAN, Johnny and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
box_hunter Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 I don't think Santa is having a good week with the kiddies..... Create an account to see this content! Scotsman84, Flume, Scorpio 22 and 5 others 4 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
box_hunter Posted December 25, 2018 Share Posted December 25, 2018 Didn't know spider man was part of the Christmas story..... Create an account to see this content! StnCld316, delta10, Scotsman84 and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Max 2017 Posted December 26, 2018 Share Posted December 26, 2018 Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE..." "I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO..." "I PRAY FOR A NEW STEREO..." His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!" Sketch, delta10, Rudi and 6 others 8 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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