Brought an amazing woman back to mine last night. She whispered "Let's go upstairs", so i said "Ok, but listen, i'm on top". She giggled and said "Ok!"

Hey, my bunk beds, my rules.

One day Mr.Smith, the president of a large corporation called his vice-president Dave into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr.Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know who to fire."

The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to arrive in, so Dave said, "Barbara, ive got a problem. You see, ive got to lay you or Jack off and don't know what to do?"

Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam" she says. She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, and gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean" she whispers "I would do anything..." He returns her gaze "Anything?" "Anything". His voice softens "Anything?" "Anything" she repeats again. His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you ... study?"

Mary comes home from her date with Ted and is on cloud nine. She happily tears off her clothes, tosses them all around the room jumps into bed and falls fast asleep. The next morning her mum comes in and wakes Mary up and says "How was your date last night?" "It was alright, I guess". "It must have been a lot better than that" says mum " Your panties are still stuck to the ceiling".

Don't think that is going to help!!