Scotsman84 Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 Create an account to see this content! delta10, Dragnet, Scorpio 22 and 3 others 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted February 14, 2019 Share Posted February 14, 2019 His first and last. LOL Create an account to see this content! delta10, StnCld316, Johnny and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Posted February 15, 2019 Share Posted February 15, 2019 23 hours ago, Scotsman84 said: His first and last. LOL Create an account to see this content! Died a happy man and was never seen again Wazzer, Dragnet, Scotsman84 and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wazzer Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey please. The bartender asks, "What's the matter?" The man says, "Just found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend." The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey. The bartender asks, "What's wrong this time?" The man says, "Just found out my son is gay." The next day the same man comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey. Then the bartender asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?" The man looks up and says, "Apparently my wife does." delta10, Sketch, Scorpio 22 and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wazzer Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 My wife treats me like a God - Every evening at dinner I get a burnt offering. I've been happily married for 10 whole years - And 10 out of 30 isn't bad. My wife keeps telling me I shouldn't pee in the bath - Or if I really have to I should at least wait till she gets out. When a married man says, "I'll think about it", what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet. Rhodie, Scotsman84, delta10 and 1 other 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Create an account to see this content! Johnny, Scorpio 22, delta10 and 3 others 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Create an account to see this content! Dragnet, Johnny, delta10 and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Create an account to see this content! Johnny, Sketch, Dragnet and 2 others 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotsman84 Posted February 17, 2019 Share Posted February 17, 2019 Create an account to see this content! Dragnet, delta10, Scorpio 22 and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
box_hunter Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 Why did Michael Jackson invent the Moonwalk? It was a great way to get out of kids' bedrooms unheard. delta10, Wazzer and Dragnet 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
box_hunter Posted February 18, 2019 Share Posted February 18, 2019 A man was driving recklessly down the interstate one day and his girlfriend in the passenger seat was getting very upset. The man finally realised that she was not happy with his driving and said "Baby I'm sorry for driving so recklessly. I should be more careful when I have precious cargo!" The girlfriend looked at him and said "Oh, that's so sweet, baby!" Then the guy quickly corrected her "No, no! I mean the golf clubs in the back!" Sketch, Dragnet, Johnny and 1 other 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
box_hunter Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 By the time John pulled into the little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere". he pleaded to the last hotel manager "Or just a bed-I don't really care where. I'm completely exhausted" "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant" admitted the manager "and I'm sure he would be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained all week. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you". "No problem" the tired traveller assured him. "I'll take it". The next morning John came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. The manager asked him how he survived. "Never better". John said. The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope. I shut him up in no time". "How'd you manage that?" "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room" John said. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said "Good night, beautiful" and he sat up all night watching me". Johnny, Sketch, Dragnet and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
box_hunter Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Create an account to see this content! Dragnet, Wazzer, Scorpio 22 and 4 others 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
box_hunter Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Create an account to see this content! delta10 and Scotsman84 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wazzer Posted February 19, 2019 Share Posted February 19, 2019 Q: Do you know what the secret of an Islamic marriage is? A: The husband gets to see a striptease every night. Q: What do you call a drunken Muslim? A: Mohammmered. Q: What do Muslim men do during foreplay? A: Tickle the goat under the chin. Q: What do you call a bad Muslim optometrist? A: Asif Eyecare. delta10, Scorpio 22, Dragnet and 3 others 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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