14 hours ago, Scorpio 22 said:

VHTV is the porn version of RLC.

Did that come from someone in chat? If so £100 says I know who. Pmsl

Three drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine and turned it off again. Then said "We have reached your destination". The first guy gave him money and the second guy said "Thank you". The third guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the third guy knew what he did. But then he asked "What was that for?". The third guy replied "Watch your speed next time, you nearly killed us!"

A Catholic girl went to confession and said to the priest "I'm pregnant". He asked "How did this happen, my child?" She said "I think it must be the second coming". The priest, shocked by this reply asked "What makes you think it's the second coming?". She replied "Because I swallowed the first one".

Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.

They both met with an angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.

The angel said "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today so I must decide which one of you will be admitted".

The angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven. Dolly took off her top and said "Look at these! They're the most perfect breasts God ever created and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity".

The angel thanked Dolly, and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth the same question.

The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever and flushed it without saying a word.

The Angel immediately said "Okay, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven".

Dolly was outraged and asked "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?

"Sorry, Dolly" said the Angel "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair!"

"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks.

"I can't believe it, it really is a boy."

That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.

A mouse and an elephant and walking through the forest.

The elephant falls down a hole so the mouse gets his Porsche throws a rope down and pulls the elephant out.

So they continue walking and the mouse falls into a hole.

The elephant throws his dick into the hole and the mouse climbs out.

 

Moral of the story: If you have a big enough dick you don't need a Porsche.

A beautiful woman who had a golden little plane necklace was seated next to a guy on the plane.

During the flight all the time he was gazing at the necklace.

When the woman asked him, "Are you interested in my necklace?"

"No lady, I would rather it's runway!" answered the guy.

On 5/26/2019 at 12:14 AM, Max 2017 said:

Did that come from someone in chat? If so £100 says I know who. Pmsl

Where else would something that rediculous come from! lol