Lisa

Psycho.

For all the guys who think a woman's place is in the kitchen, remember that's where the knives are kept.

Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about there professions. The first guy says, "I'm a YUPPIE. You know, young, urban, professional." The second guy says, "I'm a DINK. You know, double income, no kids." The third guy says, "I'm a RUB. You know, rich urban biker." They turn to the lady and ask, "So what are you?" The lady replies, "I'm a WIFE. You know, Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc."

11 hours ago, Scotsman84 said:

Only a young pup so 19 again.

 

Nice and slow or Fast and reckless?

Fast and reckless.

Rich friend or Loyal friend?

10 hours ago, Scotsman84 said:

Slipped a few in a mates pint but never seen the outcome... LOL

 

Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Yes.

Have you ever masturbated on cam?

Yana is on vacation from a vacation  In other words having a break from the project.

BBQ chicken.

Tuna, cucumber and coleslaw.

Have been watching this and agree they have some gorgeous presenters.

My favourite is Jo.

Just enjoy it. Most of you complain nothing happens then when it does is it real or fake.

Wife: Had your lunch?

Husband: Had your lunch?

Wife: I'm asking you.

Husband: I'm asking you.

Wife: You copying me?

Husband: You copying me?

Wife: Lets go shopping.

Husband: I had my lunch.

He asked why the house isn't clean since I'm home all day.

I asked why aren't we rich since you work all day.

Date Night.

Cast Away.

Bride Wars.

Android.

Dinner with Lev or dinner with Paul?

2 hours ago, Scotsman84 said:

Yes. Given and Received.

 

Have you masturbated in friends shower thinking of them

while they have been home?

Yes.

Have you had sex in a public toilet?

30 minutes ago, 90noway said:

Both equally .. but I do really enjoy giving

 

Oral or Anal?

Oral

Nice legs or nice bum? 

Uncut.

Giving or recieving? 

It's safe to say she has nothing to worry about, would anyone else want him. 

Masha's fake boobs go well with everything else she does. 

1 hour ago, Alexander1951 said:

If I miss, I hit your bush. it's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news?

Newspaper boy.

You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

1 hour ago, atheris said:

Bath

Spit or swallow?

Swallow.

Looks or personality?

Ring.

What does every woman have that starts with a "V" and that she can use to get what she wants?

A teacher was concerned with one of her 11 year old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?"

"I'm in love." the boy replied.

Holding back the urge to smile, she asked, "With who?"

"With you!" he said.

"But Johnny," she said gently, "Don't you see how silly that is? it's true I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don't want a child."

"Oh, don't worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I'll use a condom!"

A coroner was working late one night. It was his job to examine the dead bodies before they were sent to be buried or cremated. As he examined the body of Bernie Schwartz, who was about to be cremated, he made an amazing discovery: Bernie Schwartz had the longest penis he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," said the coroner, "But I can't send you off to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity."

And with that the coroner used his tools to remove the dead man's schlong. The coroner stuffed his prize into a briefcase and took it home. The first person he showed was his wife.

"I have something to show you that you won't believe, "He said, and opened his briefcase.

"Oh my god!" she screamed, " Bernie Schwartz is dead!"