Shadow V

Little Johnny... Quit Bugging Me
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!"

Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad.

Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her.

Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"

A woman enrolled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman I she knows what her asshole does when she has an orgasm.
"Sure!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids.
 
Have good Friday all.
 
 

A couple were married and following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules.
"I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want," he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?"
His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there will be sex here at 7 o'clock every night.... whether you're here or not."

Angus, a Scottish farmer was walking through his field and saw a man drinking from the stream. He shouts over, in Gaelic, " Hey, don't drink the water friend, the sheep have got the runs! "
The man turns around and says, " What did you say? I'm English, I don't speak your stupid language! " " Ach well!" shouts back the farmer. " I said " Use both hands, you'll be able to drink more of my wonderfully fresh stream!...

I don't know what's wrong with young people these days - I was waiting at the bus stop the other day when a group of yobs across the road started shouting, " Oi, you wanker! " and " Oi, you dirty c++n ". Why can't they let me masturbate in peace?

A newly-married couple show up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite. " Do you have reservations? " Inquires the receptionist. " Only one," replies the groom. " She won't take it up the arse."
 
I've been married 35 years and have never played away from home. It's much more exciting when there's a chance the missus might walk in.

For Sale.
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. £1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed.
Got married last weekend. Wife knows fucking everything.

My girlfriend asked me to indulge her in something a bit kinky last night. She said she had this rape fantasy that she'd always wanted to try out. Really regretting it now though. My arsehole hurts like fuck, and she says she'll kill my pet rabbit if I tell my parents.

I had a sex change last night.... I tried my left hand instead.
 
After a hard one night stand of fucking, a man is lying with a girl cuddled up in his arms. She starts gently stroking his cock and he asks her, " Are you still horny? "" No", she says, " I just really miss mine! "

I was talking to this Essex lass the other day about our heritage and she was saying she had a bit of German, a bit of French, a bit of Spanish and a bit of English in her. I was quite amazed..... turned out she'd slept with the Arsenal squad.

A woman gets in a taxi with her 8 year old kid. The taxi driver takes them through a red light district. The kid asks his mum, " Why are all those ladies standing shivering in the street? " Blushing his mum replies, " They're all waiting for taxis to take them to a party." Abdul the driver chips in, " Tell the kid the truth lady: they're all drug crazed hookers who get down for a dog if the price is right." The kid asks his mum, " Do these ladies have children? " The mum replies, " Yes dear, they grow up to be taxi drivers."

The Kama Sutra has announced a new sex position called The Plumber: You stay in all day and nobody comes!
Why is managing Chelsea like having an ungrateful girlfriend?
Because no matter how many times you come second, you still get dumped.
Two Irishmen had a nightmare day visiting the sperm bank in London.
Paddy missed the tube and Murphy came on the bus.

Drunk Cock Fight
This drunk man is taking a piss and starts to blame his dick for his life.
So he slapped it and says that's for getting my wife pregnant.
Then "Wack Wack Wack" slaps twice and that's for getting my girlfriend pregnant.
Then " Wack Wack Wack" and that is for pissing on me when I'm talking to you.

A man finds a lamp, rubs it and a genie appears. The genie tells the man he may have two wishes, but whatever he gets his mother-in-law will get double.
The man thinks for a while and says: First I would like a million pounds. Then beat me half to death. 

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out the blue she said, '' I've decided I want to be cremated.''
I said, " Awrite, get your coat."

Sorority Girls
I love college girls. The only girls I date in college, though, are sorority girls. Why? Because they're dumb. You can trick them so easy. 'I'm your boyfriend.' 'Oh my God! Let's have sex!'

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing
Yo momma is so fat that when she went to the beach a whale swam up and sang, " We are family, even tho you are fatter than me."
Yo momma is so fat her bellybutton gets home 15 minutes before she does.
Yo momma is so stupid she brought a spoon to the super bowl.
Yo momma is so fat I tried driving around her and I ran out of fuel.

Must admit Jeff is up his own ass a bit and loves looking at the cams as if to say look at me what i am doing lol. Rather destroys the meaning of being a voyeur really lol.
They all play to the cams really (especially Linda & Carrie) but as you say some make it more obvious than others. Katie even puts on stockings and high heeled shoes sometimes when she is masturbating well if that isn't playing to the cams i don't know what is. Not that i am moaning don't get me wrong lol. Just saying. Some of them, like Edda, seem to do it more naturally and is better to watch in a way especially when she is introducing new girls to us lol.
Then again they have to do something for us pervs to justify their use of the free board and lodging lol though having said that none of them on VH make any attempt to hide (in fact quite the opposite for most) which is good.

Most of them are show offs, attention seekers but some just make it more obvious than others.. You wouldn't do something like this if you didn't enjoy showing off or attention.

Have to agree and looking into the cam and being a dick is unprofessional as well.

Yes.. they did great. The only issue I have with VHTV tenants is.. that almost all of them are on CC and interact with members. The true voyeur factor is missing.
 

Violet is very sexy and good to watch but not a fan of Jeff he is full of himself.

Violet is very sexy and good to watch but not a fan of Jeff he is full of himself.

Annie Wilkes. ( Misery )
 
Happy Halloween All.

The force is strong in this one.