Scotsman84

Long life to the topic " Empty Chatbox " LOL

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. I should be in charge, " Said the brain, " Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." " I should be in charge," said the blood, " Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you would waste away." " I should be in charge," said the stomach, " Because I process food and give you all energy." " I should be in charge," said the legs, " Because I carry the body wherever it needs to go." " I should be in charge," said the eyes, " Because I allow the body to see where it goes." " I should be in charge, " said the rectum," Because I'm responsible for waste removal." All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight. Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery and the blood was toxic. They all decided the rectum should be the boss. The moral of the story? Even though the others do all the work.... The ass hole is usually in charge.

Yes, if the money was right. Have you tried tea bagging?

Jennifer Lopez.

Sir Tom Jones.

Nothing wrong with a fag and a few drinks. This shit drives you to it. LOL

Atletico Madrid.

Two words. No Chance.

" I'm going to the doctor," says Mary. " Why, what's wrong? " asks her best friend Sara. " I want to ask him how many calories there are in sperm. " Why worry", Sara says. If you are swallowing that much, no man is going to care if you are a little chubby.

Friends No, Friends Parents Yes. Have you ever had sex in a church?

Dog Soldiers.

Tigotan.

Good to see they keep everyone well informed. LOL

Two new cameras so you can have even better views of Paul picking his nose. LOL

An old man lived alone in Tasmania. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Jase, who use to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Jase, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year, I'm just getting to old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me. Love Dad. A few days later he received a letter from his son. Dear Dad, For heavens sake, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the BODIES. Love Jase. At 4am the next morning, the Federal Police and the local Police showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologised to the old man and left. The same day the old man received another letter from his son. Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. It's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love Jase.

I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me, " come on man, you've got to want it! Come on push. You can do it." I hate being disturbed when I'm having a dump.

My 5 year old: " I don't want to be your daughter anymore. I QUIT." No two week notice or anything. She'd better not want a reference.

1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or dad, or my brother Colin. Or my brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.

My missus is pissed off with me again. Last night while she was asleep, I gently removed her Tampax and replaced it with a party popper leaving the string hanging out. I'm telling you! That women's got no fucking sense of humour at all.

Three ladies go to an exotic male strip club. One friend pulls out £10, licks it and sticks it on a stripper's left butt cheek. Not to be outdone, the second friend pulls out a £50 note, licks it and sticks it to his right butt cheek. The third friend pulls out her ATM card, swipes it down his crack, grabs the £60 and goes home.

THINK is the most used word in the Chatbox. LOL

Shit Happens.

Just crazy. LOL

Cindy Crawford.

Bra Specialist.