box_hunter

A 78-year-old woman is in the local magistrate's court near the Hospital for streaking at the Chelsea Flower show yesterday. She was let off with a caution but was awarded 1st prize for best dried bush arrangement.

Every woman is Bi. You just have to figure out if it is polar or sexual.

Paddy thought his new girlfriend might be the one, but after looking through her underwear drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maid's outfit, and a police woman's uniform, he finally decided if she can't hold down a job, she's not the one for him.

WHY BICYCLES ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN -Bicycles don't get pregnant. -You can ride your Bicycle any time of the month. -Bicycles don't have parents. -Bicycles don't whine unless something is really wrong. -You can share your Bicycle with your friends. -Bicycles don't care how many other Bicycles you've ridden. -When riding, you and your Bicycle can arrive at the same time. -Bicycles don't care how many other Bicycles you have. -Bicycles don't care if you look at other Bicycles. -Bicycles don't care if you buy Bicycle magazines. -You'll never hear "Surprise, you are going to own a new Bicycle" unless you go out to buy one yourself. -If your Bicycle goes flat you can fix it. -If your Bicycle is too loose you can tighten it. -If your Bicycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics with it. -You don't have to be jealous of the guy who works on your Bicycle. -If you say bad things to your Bicycle, you don't have to apologise before you ride it again. -You can ride your Bicycle as long as you want and it won't get sore. -You can stop riding your Bicycle as soon as you want and it won't get frustrated. -Your parents won't remain in touch with your old bicycle after you dump it. -Bicycles don't get headaches. -Bicycles don't insult you if you're a bad rider. -Your Bicycle never wants a night out with the other Bicycles. -Bicycles don't care if you're late. -You don't have to take a shower before you ride your bicycle. -If your Bicycle doesn't look good you can paint it or get better parts. -You can ride your Bicycle the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother. -The only protection you have to wear when riding your Bicycle is a decent helmet. -When in mixed company, you can talk about what a great ride you had the last time you were on your Bicycle.

👍👍 More like it.

Alright lets see if we can come up with some more names. Ideas anyone??

Walmart version of Mario Cart??

Not from US so don't have Walmart and never seen something like this. Is the machine something like a blood pressure testing machine??

A five-year-old girl went with her grandpa to get his hair cut. She had a snack cake in her hand. She loves her grandpa, so she was hanging on to him. The barber turned to her and said "you're going to get hair on your Twinkie". She replied "I know. And I'm going to grow boobies too!"

I was checking out at the store today when I noticed the man in front of me put one item on the conveyor belt - a box of condoms. Not only did he notice me staring, but decided to make super uncomfortable eye contact. So, to lighten the mood I put my bottle of ketchup on and said "Looks like we've both bought something to put on our sausages!"

Wouldn't be surprised if you plugged in a cable it would still work.. That was on tough phone!!

A perfect picture for my 500th post. Enjoy...